How to start a new life after the New Year: advice from psychologists. How to start a new life after the New Year: advice from psychologists Transporting children will become safer

All of us for the New Year. We promise to lose weight, learn English, travel often, start snowboarding - sometimes there are so many plans that they cannot fit in one year. From an overabundance of goals and desires, and some even from laziness, we do not fulfill our New Year's resolutions. Do you intend to break the system and certainly achieve your goals in the new year? Then you need a clear plan that will help you organize your time properly. For competent planning, you will need sheets of paper, or any notebook in which you will write down your desires and goals in detail. So, let's begin.

Photo tumblr.com

Summarize the previous year

• Write on a piece of paper or notebook page everything that you have achieved this year, everything that you are proud of, for which you could praise yourself. She closed the summer session three days before the start of the winter session, ran a marathon, did yoga for the first time, did not skip a single lesson, was at all the films on the day of their premiere.
• If you made a promise to yourself last New Year, be sure to remember it. Have you achieved what you promised yourself? Are you satisfied with the result?
• After you write down what you have achieved, write down what you wanted to achieve in the past year, but did not succeed. Be honest with yourself, do not write what others wanted from you, but you yourself did not need it. For example, you were required to learn Chinese, but you never did it because you do not want to learn it. The meaning of this exercise is to understand for yourself what you personally need and what others need, and what actions you are really satisfied with.

Write down all your dreams

Now, appreciating last year and realizing what worked and what didn’t, you can formulate a list of your desires for the future.

On separate sheet write down all your desires that you can think of. Write down everything, even the craziest thoughts - lick an icicle, declare your love, go to St. Petersburg for the weekend, skydive, hitchhike around Europe, start your own video blog - write everything that comes to mind and what you would like to do. It is important that you write down what you really want. After all, if you want, for example, to overthrow the Queen of England, then, we hasten to upset you, this is hardly feasible. On the other hand, don't be afraid of your own thoughts! It may seem to you that your idea is too bold, but you do not have the means and opportunities to implement it - it doesn’t matter, write it down anyway. While you are dreaming, do not forget to periodically look at the results of the previous year and check with them - perhaps you have already partially implemented some of your desires, but something did not work out and has ceased to be important to you.

By the way, try to specify your goals and desires. If you write “I want to be healthy” or “I want to travel”, then at the end of the year you are unlikely to say with certainty that your goal has been achieved. Dig deep inside yourself and figure out what is really important to you. Maybe you want to go on a trip to a particular country or want to take up a particular sport to improve your health.

Photo tumblr.com

Prioritize

So, you have two sheets in front of you: your desires and what you managed or failed to accomplish during the past year. Analyze what you have written and start compiling a list of priorities.

• From the list of desires, select what you really want to achieve, what you have been thinking about for a long time
• from the list of "failures" - something that you would still like to achieve, although it did not work out in the past year
• From the list of your pride, write down what you have achieved, what you are proud of and what you would like to continue in the new year. For example, “I want to see the bridges in St. Petersburg”, “I want to lose 10 kg” and “I want to continue dancing twice a week.”

The resulting list of your “wants” cannot be endless, stop at 10-15 wishes. It will not be possible to break into all desires and all goals, it is more productive to gradually achieve one at a time than to strive for all at once.

Visualize!

After determining the most important goals and desires, it's time for their magic ... No, not execution, but design. Make it at home so that you can see all your goals every day, be inspired by motivating pictures and strive for the fulfillment of desires. You can also create themed "boards" on Pinterest, in which you will save all the most beautiful and inspiring pictures. On the "board" for each desire. Put a picture or photo on your phone screensaver that would symbolize or depict your main goal. For example, you want to go to a certain university, so put a beautiful photo of its facade and get motivated every time you look at the screen.

Photo tumblr.com

Write yourself a letter to the future

With the help of special sites on the Internet, you can write a letter to yourself from December 2017 to December 2018. Write there what you promise to accomplish next year, describe yourself now and who you want to be in 12 months, wish yourself good luck in fulfilling all your ideas and ideas. You can also send a video message to yourself. At the end of the year, you will receive this letter and you will be able to assess whether everything worked out and how much you yourself have changed over the past year.

Who hasn't dreamed of starting new life since New Years? And make sure she is happy! Congratulations sounding on the eve of the holiday convey this universal desire: “Happy New Year! With new happiness!". But is the dream of a new life from the New Year feasible and is it realistic to put this intention into practice, starting from January 1?

January 1st. Is it a good day to start?

The new calendar year begins on January 1 and is celebrated on the night of that day. Most people do not sleep that night, and then sleep until noon. Is it possible to start something new on such a “shortened” day? You can, of course, with a strong desire. But most people on this day have only one desire - relax. And the next day, and the next, and so on until the end of the so-called " New Year holidays”, holidays.

Hence the conclusion: if you want to start a new life from the new year, then you need to do this either starting in advance, at least a month or two before the new year, or already from mid January(after the holidays).

Of course, it is better to start early. After all, this is how you can prepare for this very new, wonderful life, lay its “foundation”. As A. Green wrote in his story "Scarlet Sails": "Miracles must be done with your own hands." The Christmas miracle is no exception.

If people choose souvenirs for relatives and friends in advance, starting to think about it already in the month of November, then why not think about how to start preparing a gift for yourself. This gift, called "New Life" will be the best for the New Year!

Active and passive expectation of a miracle

It is necessary to wait for a miracle to happen and to believe in miracles, but this faith must be active. Something needs to be done in order for the miracle to happen!

new, better life this is personal responsibility everyone who decided to start it. You should not wait for someone else to come and give it to you for the New Year.

Precisely because of passive expectations of a sudden miracle on New Year's Eve ("I'll lie down on the couch, and let miracles happen!"), people often feel disappointed and unhappy in the first days of January: the new year has come, but the problems remain old.

But is it reasonable to think that they could disappear of their own accord, as if by a wave of magic wand?! Was it really necessary for someone to come and solve all those difficulties that had been accumulating for years and had already turned into a decent “burden behind”?!

Because of the irrational, but bright and sincere faith in the New Year's miracle, many people who have active desire to start a new life, and decide to start it from the New Year. They know that happiness will have to be created on one's own, but faith in that very miracle helps to start, it increases motivation, strengthens hope and faith in one's strength.

People who have doubts about their own abilities, some fears, who are not confident enough in themselves and who do not believe in their success love to start from Monday / the first day / new year. They need outside support. They reasonably believe that the beginning of the year - best time for change. A certain strength and energy of novelty helps them.

People, confident in themselves and believing in their success, do not wait for a special date or day! They begin to turn the dream into reality immediately after they have made such a decision, regardless of the time of year and day.

If you have to yourself force start a new life from the new year, persuade yourself: “Well, from January 1, it’s definitely necessary!”, which means, in fact I don `t want do it and you have to admit it to yourself. A person who really wants to change his life for the better does it without delay!

A new year and a completely new life can begin for a purposeful and active person on any day when he wishes.

How to be happy in the new year?

As for happiness, it, being internal state of man is being created much faster than a new life is being built. To be happy they need to be: to feel, to feel as such, and to behave accordingly.

to meet New Year happy psychologists recommends in advance:

For example, there is a problem - an unloved job. It transforms into a goal - to find a job to your liking by the New Year.

1. Build relationships with others, resolve all existing conflicts. This is the shortest way to feel happy on New Year's Eve.

Man is a social being. There are other people in every area of ​​his personal life, so in order to improve his life, you need to build relationships with others. Most conflicts, in fact, are resolved very easily and quickly, with two words: "I'm sorry!" and "I'm sorry!"

1. Build relationships with yourself. This point includes all the previous ones, only its direction is not external, but internal. To improve relations with yourself, you need to conduct introspection, and solve internal problems, and forgive (including yourself!) For everything. Building a relationship with yourself is the same as

No wonder they say: "As you celebrate the New Year, so you will spend it." In order for a happy new life to begin in the new year, you need to feel yourself happy not only on New Year's Eve, but also all subsequent days and nights, during which you must not forget to work on creating a new, wonderful life!

Practicing psychologist, health coach

I am often asked the question “How to start a new life?” And definitely New Years. I can tell you right away that you can start a new life from any day and any month, but given that it’s December outside, it’s beautiful fluffy snow and everyone is in anticipation of miracles, during this period you can easily create your happy and successful plan for 2018 year.

In order to make it easier for our brain to accept our new desires and bring them to life, I suggest you play with it. And the game will consist in the fact that we will create our ideal scenario for 2018. You know what they say, every great movie starts with cool script, so it is with us: goal setting begins with these simple exercises:

• Write down 30-50 of your desired goals for 2018.
• Be sure to formulate them without a particle “NOT”, for example, instead of “simple” - simple, or “not to be sad” - but to have fun. And so on.
• Formulate them in the present tense, as if it had already happened.
• DETAILS, do not write, please, just: I want to be happy!!! If you want care, happiness, love, and so on, please write down this simple definition for yourself. Indicating one of these, non-specific words, describe for yourself what it means to you to be happy. For example, if you want care, then write to yourself what care is for you and from whom, maybe it's coffee in bed or a call from a loved one in the middle of the day with the question “How are you, are you all right?” or something else. This is important for writing our script. The more detailed you write it down in the present tense, the clearer your “movie” will be and the more specific your goal setting will be.
• After you have prescribed all this, answer yourself the question: “What is now possible for me?”. What opportunities do I have now, given that everything I wanted has happened.

For example, if you want a car, you describe it in as much detail as possible - color, brand, interior, what kind of steering wheel, what smell is in your car, and after that you write: now I can go to visit my grandmother, now I can carry everything with me my important things (I, for example, carry a set of paint brushes with me in the car, because I don’t know when I want to paint. And I’m always ready). Describe 7-10 options for opportunities that you have. And be sure to imagine how you will feel! Feelings and emotions are the currency for buying your dreams.

• This is your scenario and you are the main character in it: describe all your helpers, fairies, friends, those who will always come to your aid.
• Describe those people or situations that may prevent you from carrying out your plan. And the most important thing to do with it:

1. think in the script how you can get around their influence or what you can do to make the result positive for you.
2. And most importantly, think about why these people were sent to you. That they bring you USEFUL by their actions. It may sound strange, but I assure you, all the people in our lives give us lessons and these lessons are always for our good, we just cannot always recognize this good right away.

For example, if a guy left a girl for her girlfriend or just for another - great, life itself has taken trouble away from you. And saved you years of life. Think about this as you weigh the pros and cons of these situations.

I had a case when for several years in a row there was a person in my environment who constantly devalued my actions and achievements. Such phrases, for example: “And what's wrong with that? Nothing special! Just think, you didn’t earn a million, but only 100 thousand ”or“ yes, everyone can paint like that, nothing special. I can tell you: this is a very good incentive. Of course, I cleared my environment of such people, but it is difficult to overestimate their benefit in my life, because thanks to such people we become stronger, faster, richer, smarter, and many, many more things we can get good. So thank such people for the lessons and remove from your field. You create your script. And only you are responsible for who is present in your scenario.

Believe me, when you take responsibility for everything that happens in your life, you can easily create for yourself any conditions for a happy life.

And I will also share with you a cool trick on how to neutralize negative people. At the moment when a negative person is next to you, yells at you or just says some words that are not pleasant for you, if you cannot leave or stop him, try to look at him and imagine what he lacks in life , maybe joy or love, or success, or maybe you specifically know what this person loves. Then imagine him rejoicing, for example, from the fact that he does what he loves, or he receives a big win, or rides in his favorite car. Listen to it and imagine.

Usually advice on how to change your life begins with getting out of your comfort zone (hmm, when did we manage to enter it ?!), and then skydiving and go to trip around the world. Agree that for all their adventurous charm, these recommendations are difficult to put into action. ordinary person, not the heirs of Trump or the Rothschilds. That is, you are suddenly on fire with the idea of ​​​​changing something, and you are advised in a hidden text to hit extreme sports, take a loan or sell your kidney in order to wake up under the stars in a tent somewhere in the Arizona desert, like the hero of the series " Last Man on the ground". We critically approached the advice of experts on how to live well, and out of hundreds of ephemeral and banal options, we chose a dozen more or less sensible or at least motivating to start the New Year in a positive way.

Try the "1 day - 1 achievement" tactic

Firstly, because you need to learn new things every day, and secondly, because big things are done by small deeds. Oh yes, and thirdly, because laziness in the absence of motivation is the main brake on all productive activities.

Write yourself a list of "I-will-never-do-this-again"

And include in it what time and money was spent last year, but there were no positive results. Whether it’s at least bad habits, at least “sitting” in the office after hours, at least bad dates on Tinder, which you now don’t even want to remember.

Experience the principle "this day is like the last"

It sounds a little trite, like a “comfort zone” and a story about a world trip, but sometimes it is this approach to life that makes us perk up a little and move on to change the way that does not suit us at all. Imagine, for example, what you would do in 2016 if this year were your last, and then figure out which of the fantasies really inspire you.

Sign up for dancing

Even if it will be classes only once a week, which you will sometimes skip under the pretext of “I don’t want to get up from the couch”, it’s not scary. If you are basically indifferent to sports and are more willing to go to a bar with your girlfriends, then it is still better to start your path to an active lifestyle with dancing. It is possible that you will get involved in such a way that later you will be unstoppable.

Think of a lasting dream

One that will take at least a year, if not all three. Write a book, learn how to drive a boat, get an MBA, buy a house and set up a whole flower garden there. It doesn't matter what it is, but it's important that you get involved in making that dream come true step by step.

Think of life as a business plan

And calculate all the events that should happen in the near future (or you would very much like them to happen): a wedding, a job change, the purchase of something big and important - precisely in the vein of a business venture, which implies costs, inevitable concessions , creative efforts and profits in the short term.

Change something in appearance

Review your photos from the past year (especially those where you were tagged by friends in social networks without asking) and allow yourself some sensible (we emphasize, sensible!) criticism addressed to you: what would you like to change in your appearance and what image / style to try? Just be careful not to suddenly come out Kylie Jenner...

Divide your social circle into inspiring and upsetting people

Make it a rule to communicate with the latter no more than once a month, and with the former, on the contrary, come up with more reasons to meet based on your common hobbies or interests. First of all, level the “vampire” interlocutors - those who usually pour out all their problems on you, but do not personally listen to you in return.

Traditionally, since the new year, numerous innovations in legislation come into force that will affect the lives of citizens of the country. In 2018, Russians are waiting for an increase in salaries and pensions, a change in the minimum wage and fares for travel to public transport, significant changes are coming in the lives of motorists and land owners, they will also come to the IT sector.

Raising the minimum wage, salaries and pensions

From 2018, the minimum wage will increase in Russia. According to the adopted amendments to the law, it will now be 85% of the previously established subsistence minimum. In accordance with these norms, the minimum wage will increase to 9,489 rubles. At the same time, the salaries of public sector employees will also increase - they will be indexed by 4%. In particular, the increase will affect the military, teachers, cultural workers, officials at various levels. The size of pensions will also grow - in January 2018, indexation will be 3.7%. Later, in April, another increase is planned.

Traffic Laws

The authorities decided to seriously deal with lovers of illegal car tinting. From January 1, 2018, fines for violating the norms of light transmission of automotive glass for them will triple. Violation, according to the norms of the law, is the tinting of the windshield in such a way that the level of transmitted light drops below 75%, for the front side windows this figure is 70%. If the violation is recorded for the first time, the driver will be fined 1,500 rubles (now the amount of the fine is 500 rubles). For a second violation, you will have to pay 5,000 rubles.

Also in 2018, new signs will appear in courtyards and areas where the speed limit is 20 kilometers per hour. Such spaces will be called "calm traffic zones", where pedestrians will have an advantage over cars.

Debts on fines are fraught with trouble

Since the new year, unpaid fines threaten motorists with the deprivation of a driver's license. Bailiffs can now come to those who have accumulated debts for violations of traffic rules in the amount of 10 thousand rubles. In addition to debt collection, representatives of the law have the right to deprive a motorist-debtor of a driver's license.

Fuel prices will rise again

January 1, 2018 at again increased excise taxes on gasoline and diesel. The growth will be 50 kopecks per liter. For motorists, this means that the cost of a liter at gas stations will increase by about 60 kopecks per liter. During the year, excise taxes on fuel will increase again, also by 50 kopecks. The increase will take place in April, at the same time we can expect an increase in price tags at gas stations.

OSAGO becomes more convenient

With the beginning of 2018, the system of compulsory third party liability insurance is expected to undergo further changes. Now the policies will be issued on new forms. Among other differences, they will now be marked with a QR code, which will allow you to find out all the data on the concluded contract on the website of insurers (including the amount of insurance premium and coefficients). In addition, motorists will have the opportunity to refuse unnecessary services (they are often imposed by policy sellers) within 14 days instead of five, which were previously given to them "to think about."

Transportation of children will become safer

A law came into force prohibiting the transport of children older than 10 years on buses. This happened five years after the adoption of the relevant resolution, the entry into force of which was constantly delayed. The launch of the new rule is likely to not only improve the safety of transporting children, but also increase their cost, which, in turn, will affect the organization school trips. At the same time, there is no talk about the introduction of such a norm for regular regular buses.

Public transport fares will rise

For ordinary passengers, travel in the metropolitan subway will rise in price a little. In 2018, one trip on the Troika card went up by a ruble. Thus, the fare will cost 36 rubles. Tickets for several trips and subscriptions will also increase in price. So, "United" for 60 trips now costs 1765 rubles (it was 1700 rubles), and, for example, an unlimited travel card for 30 days will now cost 2075 rubles (75 rubles more). At the same time, single travel cards for one and two trips will not rise in price.

By the way, from January 1, Moscow schoolchildren and students can save time when buying travel cards. From now on, tickets are valid for a period of three months, which will cost students 750 rubles for trips on land transport and 1,140 rubles for use in the subway.

Taxes on land and vehicles

In 2018, the principle of calculating property tax is changing. From now on, it will be calculated from the cadastral value of objects, and not from the inventory, as it was before. In practice, this means a change in the amount of tax, most often in the direction of its increase. Another innovation concerns the owners of land plots who have not bothered to determine their boundaries (land surveying has not been carried out). Starting this year, they will not be able to make any transactions with such land, that is, the land cannot be sold or donated. At the same time, such unscrupulous owners of land are not deprived of property rights.

From now on, owners of expensive vehicles will be able to pay less taxes. The innovation concerns cars worth from three to five million rubles, not older than three years. To calculate the amount of tax, a fixed coefficient of 1.1 will now be used, while previously it was floating and depended on the year of issue.

In messengers without anonymous users

From January 1, for those who want to use messaging services anonymously, instant messengers have become unavailable. It is now possible to exchange messages only after user identification. This is done using the mobile phone number specified in the contract with the mobile operator. For the conclusion of such an agreement, we recall, the presentation of a passport is required.