Technique of persuasion in the process of business negotiations. Secret Techniques of Influence and Persuasion
One has to deal with the need to convince the patient every day, especially if we take into account that about half of the patients, according to foreign statistics, do not follow the doctor's prescription. Therefore, for many patients, a written prescription or doctor's recommendation is nothing more than food for thought. Direct, frontal advice (to leave the given city, leave this job, etc.), as a rule, causes strong resistance of the patient. It is curious that overt resistance (when the patient honestly refuses to follow the doctor's advice) is usually not as strong as hidden resistance (when the patient verbally promises to do everything and does nothing in fact).
Indirect methods of persuasion work better than direct advice. Psychological cliche: “If I were you, maybe I would have done this ...” The effect of indirect suggestion is due to the fact that it causes minimal resistance to the patient. However, the relevant information must come from significant person. If the contact with the patient is formal, then it is better to find a referent from the patient's environment (friend, relative), who, on the advice of a doctor, will bring this necessary information to the patient. Quickly and effectively, it can help to find a referent in the environment of the patient "Color test of relationships" (Etkind A.M., 1980).
The literature provides a number of specific methods (techniques) of persuasion.
1. Selection method. The patient should describe all the pros and cons (for example, the positive and negative aspects of his life after any operation), bring him as close as possible to the decision of the final choice that he makes himself.
2. Socratic dialogue method(method of seven "yes"). The doctor should prepare 7 questions to which the patient will answer in the affirmative. The last thing is what needs to be convinced of the patient. Non-flexible patients, by inertia, answer “yes” to the last question.
4. Call method. Psychological cliche: “If you can’t quit smoking, I understand you, because only a very strong-willed person can cope with this.” The method practically does not work when persuading women.
5. scarcity method. A certain group of patients believe that a deficient procedure is a priori considered good. By placing the patient in a situation of deficit (for example, waiting in line for a consultation or examination), it is possible to go through the need for the procedure itself without psychological losses. The method works better when persuading women.
6. Expectation projection method. Psychological cliché: "You like clever man Of course, you will agree with me that…”
The above techniques of direct persuasion "work" much better during one-time meetings with the patient, and with prolonged and close contacts, it becomes more important empathic sincerity of the doctor.
Universal methods of persuasion
Not to win, but to convince - that's what is worthy of glory.
When persuasion is needed
It is possible to resist the invasion of armies, it is impossible to resist the invasion of ideas.
Persuasion is a psychological impact, the purpose of which is for the addressee of this impact (persuaded) to accept the point of view of the persuader (initiator of the impact).
In one of the books I proposed, argued, verified the following general model of any psychological impact :
Involvement(in contact) - presentation of information to the addressee in order to activate its specific orientation in accordance with the purpose of the initiator's influence.
Background factors(background) - the use of the state of consciousness and the functional state of the addressee and his inherent automatisms, habitual scenarios of behavior; creating a favorable external background (good mood, trust in the initiator, his high status, attraction, etc.).
Impact targets- sources of motivation of the addressee: his actual needs, and their manifestations: interests, inclinations, desires, inclinations, beliefs, ideals, feelings, emotions, etc.
Motivation(to activity) - this is what stimulates, pushes the addressee to activity in the direction set by the initiator (making a decision, performing an action). Motivation can be the total result of involvement, background factors, as well as impact on targets, or stimulated by special techniques - pushing the addressee to turn on the desired psychological mechanism (internal motivation), as well as direct actualization of the desired motive, appropriate distribution of roles (positions), setting scenarios, including the addressee in the appropriate activity or group that is significant for him, subthreshold influence, etc. .
In accordance with this model, humorous plots used in the process of persuasion involve persuasive in contact and serve as auspicious background factor, making him feel good.
The pliability of persuasion using humor is explained by the fact that they feel gratitude towards the person who cheered up, that is, there is an impact on such a target as satisfying the need of the person being convinced in positive emotions. In the case when it is not difficult for the persuaded to accept the point of view of the persuader, this influence is quite enough for persuasion. Many of these situations are covered in Chapter 1. In other cases, additional arguments and/or special persuasion techniques.
But when a humorous plot in the process of communication creates only prerequisites for persuasion, it is necessary to use the universal rules of persuasion. The next section is dedicated to them.
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From the author's book From the author's bookUniversal Rules of Persuasion The most pleasant thing for us is words that give us some kind of knowledge. Aristotle The first rule (Homer's rule) The order of the given arguments influences their persuasiveness. The most persuasive arguments are the following.
The correct way to prove one's opinion is not to confuse the opponent and not to demonstrate to him his incompetence in any matter, but to solve an important business issue.
For a participant in a dispute, it is important:
- know when it is necessary and when it is not necessary to defend your point of view;
– know what issues can be discussed and which cannot;
- know how to object without causing irritation, how to prove your opinion and not be unpleasant to the interlocutor.
The objection must be tactful without being confrontational or hostile. The nature of contradictions in a dispute often depends on the issue under discussion, the emotional background during its discussion, the psychological interpersonal compatibility of the two disputants, and the strength and experience of professional relationships.
Having lost the argument, one must admit this without becoming angry, but without losing one's "I". When a dispute is won, be modest and calm, do not rejoice on this occasion. Don't get into the "I told you so" pose. It is better to express gratitude to the interlocutor for listening to you, understanding and accepting your offer.
A. Petrenko in his work "Security in communication of a business person" gives the following practical recommendations on the rules for defending one's point of view, on the technique of persuading a partner.
1. Operate with simple, clear and precise concepts.
2. Conduct the argument correctly in relation to the partner:
- openly and immediately recognize the correctness of the partner, if he is right;
- continue to operate only with those arguments and concepts that have already been accepted by your partner;
- first answer the partner's arguments, and only then bring your own;
- Be polite in all situations.
3. Consider the personal characteristics of your partner: aim your argument at the partner's goals and motives;
- try to avoid a simple enumeration of facts and arguments, it is better to show their advantages;
- use only terminology that is understandable to the partner;
- measure the pace and richness of your argumentation with the peculiarities of its perception by your partner.
4. Try to present your ideas, considerations, and evidence to your partner as clearly as possible, while not forgetting your partner's strategies and modalities.
5. It must be remembered that an overly detailed argumentation, “chewing” your idea for a partner, can cause a sharp rejection on the part of the partner, and a couple of bright arguments, sometimes, achieve a greater effect.
6. Use special reasoning techniques:
Overlapping method. Gradually leading the partner to opposite conclusions by step-by-step tracing the procedure for solving the problem with him.
Salami Method. Gradual bringing the partner to full agreement with you by obtaining consent from him first in the main, and then in the particulars necessary for complete agreement.
Partition method. Dividing the partner's arguments into incorrect, doubtful and erroneous, followed by proof of the inconsistency of his general position.
positive response method. Your conversation with your partner is built in such a way that he answers your first questions: “Yes... Yes...” In the future, it will be much easier for him to agree with you on more significant issues.
Method of classical rhetoric. By agreeing with your partner's statement, you suddenly refute all of his evidence with one strong argument. This method is especially good if the partner is too aggressive.
Slow down method. Intentional slow pronunciation aloud of the weakest points in the partner's argument.
Method of two-sided argumentation. You indicate to your partner both strengths and weak spots what you offer. This method is best applied when discussing with an intellectual partner.
Make generalizations and conclusions based on the results of the discussion in a timely manner.
Arguments can take place with or without listeners. The presence of listeners, even if they do not express their attitude to the dispute, affects the arguing. Victory in front of listeners brings more satisfaction, flattering self-esteem, and defeat becomes more annoying and unpleasant. Therefore, the participants in the dispute in front of the listeners must take into account those present, their reaction, carefully select the necessary arguments, more often show stubbornness in opinions, sometimes excessive vehemence.
In public life, one often has to meet with a dispute for listeners. The dispute is conducted in order to draw attention to the problem, to make a certain impression on the listeners, to influence in the necessary way.
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Psychology professor Jack Schafer worked for many years as an FBI special agent and taught other agents the techniques of influence and persuasion, which are sometimes unthinkable without personal charm. According to him, there Golden Rule, using which you can win over any person. And it sounds like this: Make the other person like you».
How to achieve this? website gives 6 great tips by Jack Schafer, which he has repeatedly tested in work and in life.
1. Make a mistake
When Jack Schafer begins teaching a new stream, he casually makes a mistake in pronunciation of a word and lets the students correct themselves. “I pretend to be embarrassed, thank them for their attention and correct the mistake,” says Jack.
This technique he uses to achieve 3 goals. First, when students correct a teacher's mistake, it makes them feel more confident. Secondly, they begin to communicate more freely with the mentor. Third, they allow themselves to be wrong.
2. Talk to people about themselves
We are too busy with ourselves and have very little interest in the people we meet. But in order to please people, you need to be genuinely interested in them.
"You'll make more friends in two months if you're genuinely interested in people than you'll make in two years trying to get them interested in you." (Dale Carnegie)
« When people talk about themselves no matter - in a personal conversation or in social networks, the same pleasure centers in the brain are activated as from delicious food or money". (Robert Lee Holtz)
These two quotes show how important it is to talk to people about their business in order to win their favor. Be interested in their family, biography, children, their opinion on this and that occasion, and gratitude, sometimes unconscious, is provided to you.
3. Compliment in a third person
Sometimes direct compliments sound too intrusive.. Many people are not ready to take them or experience discomfort. In such cases, it is better to use a compliment from a third person.
For example, you want to ask the accountant Anna Ivanovna for some kind of favor and screw in the following phrase: “Anna Ivanovna, by the way, the head of the personnel department said that you are the most conscientious employee of our company.”
It is not necessary, of course, to praise some professional quality, maybe personal. For example, like this: “Anna Ivanovna, the head of the personnel department still remembers your pies with onions that you brought for your birthday.”
4. Remember to sympathize
It is pleasant for every person to know that they are attentively listening to him and sharing his emotions with him. Of course, if a person starts talking about how he had a hard day, you should not moan: “What a horror, oh, you poor thing!” Especially if it's your boss.
An ordinary statement like: “Yes, you had a difficult day today is quite suitable. It happens to everyone!" If a person says that he managed to cope with a difficult case, you can summarize it like this: “It looks like you are doing great today. This is cool!"
We must convince the interlocutor that we share his feelings and understand him. At the same time, if you are trying to support a person, you do not need to accurately reproduce his words. The interlocutor may be wary: he will perceive the repetition as something unnatural.
5. Ask for a favor
Benjamin Franklin famously said: "He who once did you good will be more willing to help you again than he whom you helped yourself." This phenomenon is known as the Benjamin Franklin effect. A person who shows courtesy to another person grows in his own eyes. That is, if you want to please a person, then it is better not to do a favor to him, but to ask him for a favor. Of course, you should not abuse requests for help.
As the same Franklin wittily remarked: "Guests, like fish, begin to smell bad on the third day." The same can be said for people who ask for favors too often.
6. Get the person to praise themselves.
There is a very thin line between a compliment and flattery, so it is better to make the interlocutor praise himself. For example, someone tells you this story: “I worked day and night to close this project.” Here you can say: "Yes, this requires an iron will." It is almost guaranteed that the interlocutor will answer something like: “Yes, I had to work hard to turn in the project on time. Of course, I did a great job. There's nothing to say here."
The ability to make a person praise himself is aerobatics. Practice it, make people happy. And you will definitely like it.
All this advice is certainly not a call to hypocrisy. We just want to help you please other people and live with everyone in the world.
Let's take a closer look at some influence techniques.
Technique of persuasion and counterargument
For a constructive change of beliefs, the following conditions must be observed.
Firstly, the initiator of influence should clearly define and realize the purpose of persuasion and convey it to the addressee. For example: “Let me prove to you the effectiveness of the method of expanding the scope of authority of subordinates” or “I can justify the reasons why this specialist should not be included in the staff of our company.” If the goal of changing beliefs is not fully realized or not brought to the object of influence, then it can be perceived as an attempt to manipulate.
The second condition for the effectiveness of persuasion is to obtain the consent of the object to read the argument. For example, if the response to a question about agreeing to listen to the proposed arguments is the answer: “It is better to do this later, now I am very busy,” then there is no need to insist on continuing the conversation on this topic at the moment. The addressee may feel compelled to change the belief. If the transfer of the conversation to a later time is repeated systematically, this is evidence of the possible ignoring of the initiator of influence by the addressee. Without overcoming the position of ignoring, no further impact will be possible, so it is necessary to resist it. Having achieved success and switching the attention of the object to the goal of influence, one should proceed to changing the belief.
Persuasion is a constructive way of influencing, for the success of which the initiator needs to fully control the manifestation of his emotions. Without this, it is impossible to maintain the objectivity and clarity of the presentation of the arguments. This condition is rather difficult to fulfill. Often the behavior of the interlocutor causes a response that does not meet the requirements of the situation, since the own attitudes and beliefs, as well as the subjective experience of the initiator of influence, push him to this. It is necessary to be ready for any situations, first practicing constructive ways of interacting with opponents.
The most popular and effective are the main three techniques of intensive argumentation:
- Presentation of rational arguments;
- Expanding the argument;
- positive response method.
It also requires emotional control counterargument. Her mistake may be weighty persuasiveness. In the case of irrefutable evidence of the opponent, the second participant in the dialogue has to be aware of the fallacy and lack of significance of his opinion. The need to recognize the inconsistency of one's arguments hurts a person's sense of personal significance and can lead to the actualization of power, attention, revenge. As a result, the subject of discussion can be replaced by switching to destructive criticism.
Successful constructive counter-argumentation should take into account the psychological principles of the discussion. At the beginning of the conversation, it is necessary to express agreement with the opponent on any issue. During the conversation, do not obsessively offer to discuss your doubts. The presentation of arguments should contain a share of doubt, hesitation. For example: “I agree with you that Western organizations are organized according to the principle of a “flat structure”, which implies equality of subordinates and superiors in the possibility of influencing the strategy of the enterprise ... But it seems to me that this is not entirely consistent with our established traditions. Although it is possible that traditions can not be taken into account? Do you think that an involuntary change in the traditional distribution of spheres of influence between superiors and their subordinates is possible?
Counterargument, is used not to convince the opponent, but to achieve main goal dialogue - finding the optimal solution to the problem. How effective the discussion was, is evidenced by the effectiveness of the established solution, and not at all by a sense of personal significance and power. Even if the decision reached by the parties in the course of the dialogue will be the decision initially developed by you, it is psychologically correct to build a conversation so that the object feels not convinced, but independently came to the decision reached.
The most effective counterargument techniques:
- "transformation" of the interlocutor's arguments,
- dismemberment of the opponent's arguments;
- counter development of the argument.
Confrontation Technique
An effective confrontation can only be achieved if each of its phases is completed.
The first phase of the confrontation.
I-message about the emotions that arise as a result of the behavior of the initiator of influences.
The second phase of the confrontation is the amplification of the I-messages.
The third phase of confrontation is the formulation of wishes, requests.
The fourth phase of the confrontation is the imposition of sanctions.
The fifth phase of the confrontation is the implementation of sanctions. The object of influence should refuse any interaction with the initiator. End the relationship if there is no other way.