How good it is to lie. Thought Throwing Principle
In childhood, we were all taught that it is not good to lie, and who argues? However, in life there are situations when you just have to lie a little - and, as they say, everyone is immediately happy. About why, the portal has already written, it remains only to figure out how to avoid exposure. The correspondent, together with family psychologist Olga Sharandikova, compiled several simple rules the perfect lie. Use only for good!
Rule #1
The best way to lie plausibly is to believe yourself in the truth of your words.
For a conversation, even the shortest, in which you want to be cunning, you should carefully prepare. It does not take a lot of time. Imagine in your imagination all the events, already in a distorted form, several times in the smallest details, feel the fictitious. It is the nuances that are important, since mentioning them during a conversation, like nothing else, will make the interlocutor believe you. In general, become an actor and play your part brilliantly!
Rule #2
This rule will help you out if someone suddenly finds out about you the truth that you tried to hide. For example, go with a friend to dinner at a particular restaurant, and say that you had dinner there. If you do not want to talk about the place in advance, in order to avoid unscheduled meetings, do not forget to tell this truth after. If you are going with a friend not on a business trip abroad, but to relax for a couple of days outside the city, be sure to warn everyone that you are going with Nikolai, Yuri, etc. We accidentally met a former lover and went into a cafe to sit and talk - to your wife, in order to avoid a fit of jealousy, tell your wife that you met your ex with your husband and went to the nearest cafe for only ten minutes, where all neighbors and friends saw you. In the event of a scandal, it will always be possible to retort - they say, there was no deception, after all, I said that I would be there / with someone else, it was someone else who mistook me, noticed me when they approached me, etc.
Rule #3
When lying, always try to be as natural as possible and not break your usual habits. You should not run your eyes all over the person, or vice versa, stare at him without taking your eyes off. Also, do not make senseless nervous movements with your hands near the face and especially near the mouth. No need to fiddle with your hair, the end of a napkin, tear off the label from the bottle standing on the table and wring your fingers. Calm down, try to relax and start your fascinating story. If you always wiggle your leg a little during conversations, or if you tend to look out the window while talking to someone, keep doing it. Speak in your usual manner and “put pressure on pity” a little: “understand me”, “imagine how tired I am”, etc. But most importantly, be yourself and remember Rule #1.
Rule #4: Describe a real person
Choose from your old acquaintances with whom you hardly communicate, a man or a woman, and always describe exactly their appearance. This will help avoid many incidents. By always mentioning the same person in a conversation, you confirm a hundred times that this is not a fictional character that you supposedly see while you actually watch football with friends in a bar around the corner, but your real new employee, whom you need in for two weeks daily enter into the affairs of the company, so you stay late at work.
Rule #5
You should try to lie as little as possible to exactly those people with whom you communicate the most. Firstly, we love and respect our loved ones and relatives, therefore it is not good to deceive them on the basis of moral considerations. And secondly, the more often we communicate with a person, the more common acquaintances we have, the more chances we have to let it slip, “get confused in the testimony” and betray ourselves.
Rule #6
Until you are grabbed by the hand, never admit to anything. Stand your ground and period - it's true, how else? There can be no options. Any photo/video evidence can always be refuted. Let the discussion drag on for long hours and days - do not give up. The brain of your interlocutor, maddened by the processing of the same information, will get tired and, according to the principles of its work, will want to sort everything out, build a logical chain of ordered events based on the available data, and you will eventually be acquitted.
By the way, according to the statistics of Russian sociologists, 70% of people lie about, 57% - about the price of an expensive purchase in one direction or another, 51% - about love victories, uttering compliments - 38%, about the reason for being late - 28%, about the amount of salary - 13% of people.
What do you think, is it sometimes possible to lie or should you always remain crystal honest? How to tactfully tell the truth? Is it even possible to live in modern world without lies? We discuss in the comments.
Natalia Nazarenko
As they say, "life experience is a matter of education, and common sense in dealing with people is based on fraud." Our time proclaims itself civilized. But the more civilized a society is, the more lies and deceit occupy a place in it. Harro von Senger
In the animal world, too, there is deceit. Animals disguise themselves, take on other disguises and are cunning. They do it to survive and it's genetically built into them. Modern man also wants to live. To live well and happily, and for this sometimes it is necessary to lie.
People have been lying since ancient times. On an old tattered scroll, "The Tale of Truth and Krivda" was found. The fairy tale was written more than 3 thousand years ago in the era of the pharaohs ancient egypt. On a papyrus scroll, we can read about deceit, revenge and confrontation between the two brothers Pravda and Krivda. Thus the history of deceit, beginning in time immemorial, has passed through history.
Only bad and unfit people lie? Come on! Even in literature, the most positive characters deceived and wriggled. Shakespeare's Hamlet deceives his kin with a madness he doesn't have. Juliet - imaginary death.
But the most dexterous schemers and masters of flattery were adventurers. Take, for example, the legendary Count Alessandro Cagliostro. He owed his success precisely to the skill of the great deceiver.
Almost all famous people success is due precisely to the ability to cunning and deceiving. It's time for you to learn something from the great deceivers. The principles that great adventurers use may be useful to you in Everyday life. Chances are you won't run scams like Count Cagliostro. But with the help of them you will learn to deceive. This is necessary for a successful life! This is the art of the great deceivers!
Two little mice fell into a bucket of milk. The first mouse raised its paws and drowned. The second mouse did not think to accept. She fought for her life. She churned the milk into butter and finally got out. Lord - I'm the second mouse! Movie "Catch Me If You Can"
Cheat correctly and qualitatively!! Almost all famous people owe their success to the ability to cheat and deceive. It's time for you to learn something from the great deceivers, crooks and swindlers.
1. The simpleton principle
The cunning is not the one who is considered cunning, but who is mistaken for a simpleton. P. S. Taranov
Build a reputation as a simpleton. Be simpler, clearer, seem a little silly and naive.
Form the image of a truthful, honest, but down to earth person. A charming smile, positive behavior, kindness and a confidential tone of conversation are your weapons. Create an intellectual superiority over you. As long as people think they are smarter than you, they will be easily fooled.
Pretty girls often use this method. They are ready to seem like a "stupid blonde" for a quiet life and the realization of their plans.
2. Information flow principle
Our mind contains both those truths that should be spoken about and those that should be kept silent. A. Rivarol
It is not necessary to lie, but you can change the information flow in favorable conditions for you. You can hide information, distort, give in to the chosen method, distort and focus on profitable facts. Such deception is more believable and easier to control. In the event that your deception is discovered, you will not suffer as much as with outright deception.
3. The principle of parallel reality
Create the desired "smoke screen". Distract the victim from the most important thing and create the background you need. Against the backdrop of parallel reality, deception looks more natural. Use more color for your lies. Create a situation, circumstances confirming your words and honesty.
This method, for example, is used by ruined people. They overspend and lead a luxurious lifestyle, misleading others. (See Confidence Rules)
4. The principle of manipulation
Create such conditions when the enemy acts according to your plan. Push him to form certain conclusions that are beneficial to you. You are not lying, the man himself came to such a conclusion.
Tell the truth under the guise of deceit. As Otto von Bismarck said, "If you want to fool the world, tell it the truth." This technique works well in personal relationships.
5. The principle of open lies and treachery
It is not necessary to cover lies or lies with facts. You can cheat openly. You can be treacherous by saying one thing and doing another. This type of deception requires a good memory and caution.
6. The principle of diversion
When hiding a lie or deceit, distract with another bright fact. Let the interlocutor take the bait, divert attention. Do it the way magicians and card sharpers do it. They do tricks, distracting by talking and manipulating their hands. So you throw in distracting facts that mask the deception.
7. The principle of masking deceit
Hide deceit under the guise of care and kindness of the heart. Even great deceit can be hidden under noble intentions. (cm. How to lie or the school of little liars)
8. The principle of thought tossing
A person believes more in those thoughts that have arisen in his own head. Do not speak directly, but act with hints, indirectly influencing a person. People will believe in what they themselves have come up with. The sprout you have planted will give you the right thought. The fact that you threw a thought, no one will remember it.
9. The principle of using human desires
Give the man what he wants. Promise him to help with his problems or hint at a successful outcome. When desires become more real, one forgets everything. A person who helps cannot cheat. Later, you can stab him in the back and trick him easily.
10. Principle weaknesses
“To each pick up a master key. This is the art of managing people. He does not need courage, but dexterity, the ability to find an approach to a person "Baltasar Gracian
Every person has a key. This is more likely to be not a noble, but a base side of a person. Play on self-interest, envy, jealousy, ambition, pleasure, greed, stupidity or voluptuousness. Use the lowest and darkest human instincts. You can easily deceive or manipulate him.
11. The principle of the use of lies and deceit
If you love, then the queen, if you steal, then a million!
The French philosopher and writer Luc de Clapier de Vauvenargues said: "The limit of cunning is the ability to manage without using force." Use the art of the great deceivers only in extreme cases. Do not trade for trifles. If you love, then the queen, if you steal, then a million!
Telling the truth is not always profitable, so many people are ready to learn tricks that allow you to circle the interlocutor around your finger.
Becoming a professional liar is not as easy as it seems. You will have to make a lot of effort to master the art of deception.
When a person is mistaken, anyone can notice it, when he is lying, not everyone will notice it.
Goethe Johann
1. Find a good reason to lie
The secret of successful lying is quite simple: lie as little as possible, when you feel an urgent need for it.
A liar with experience keeps his weapon secret and uses it in exceptional cases, when he realizes that the very moment has come when he can use deception to gain.
Remember that the reputation of a respectable person is the very treasure that makes it possible to speak a lie with almost impunity.
2. The legend should be thought out in advance
Agree, it is quite difficult to invent a fiction on the go, when all eyes are on you.
There is another method to put solid foundation lies: look for accomplices. So, for example, a friend who will confirm that you were at work until the end while the director is on a business trip, that you are waiting for your aunt, who wants to come to your house and pick up her underwear left in the bathroom.
3. Use the truth
The hardest thing to reveal is a lie that cannot be distinguished from the truth. By and large, you are telling the truth, but the opponent is sure of the opposite. This is a method of partial concealment of any information.
In some cases, the method of direct onslaught works. Allegedly joking, you talk about what they are trying to convict you of. So, for example, when asked by your girlfriend where you have been for so long after work, answer her that you were just in the bathhouse with her best friends. It has been found that the most convincing liars are those who can anticipate any questions.
WikiReference:
(delicate lie, lie of "good tone") - a lie that, in the opinion of the speaker, will provide the listener with significant relief, and if its falsity is revealed, it will bring only a slight inconvenience. White lies are usually spoken so as not to offend or upset anyone; for example, a not-too-attractive girl is told that she is "very good."
4. Use more details
Having the details ensures that you will be more trusted. So, for example, the interlocutor may not believe that you were stuck in the elevator for 1.5 hours, so you did not come to the meeting. But why does he tell in this case that the called locksmith hummed a specific song.
5. Don't be afraid to slander yourself
Beginner liars are usually justified by hackneyed and ridiculous fabrications about an employee who is sick or that his bus was in an accident.
People can't stand such excuses. It's hard enough to believe someone who tries to seem more disinterested than you. Thus, when you have to lie, the lie must make your persona look unfavorable to you.
6. You need to lie smoothly
Telling a lie is actually not so easy. You need to have an excellent memory, logical thinking and be a professional storyteller. As a rule, liars are caught on trifles. Watch the chain of your lies and do not lose the thread of the conversation.
7. Own yourself
It is noticed that deceivers stutter, rub their noses, do not look into the eyes. However, experienced liars thoroughly control themselves and their emotions. We also note that the level of trust in the interlocutor depends not so much on the information that they hear, but on the credibility of how they present it.
8. Step on when you've been caught lying
So for years you have been deceiving the man. And suddenly he has irrefutable evidence of your lies in his hands. What to do in such situations? There's really nothing to lose anymore. All you need is to buy a little time in order to think over a new tactic of behavior.
Go on the offensive. Let's say your girlfriend found correspondence in in social networks with members of the opposite sex. Of course, she will demand an explanation.
Never confess your sins. On the contrary, accuse her of not having the right to read your correspondence and that she does not care about you at all. Try to turn the conversation in a different direction in order to deprive the interlocutor of peace of mind and self-righteousness.
Cheating is a confusing and complex process, especially for those who do not often engage in it. Aspiring deceivers need to understand a few basic ingredients of a good lie, such as simplicity and believability. If you're planning your lies ahead of time, it's helpful to take some time to remember the details. To do this, they need to be written down and trained until the lie begins to sound convincing. If you are lying, then perhaps the most important thing is to do it convincingly. In addition, you should avoid the most common mistakes that betray a lie: do not fidget, do not change your tone of voice, and do not look away.
Steps
Lay the foundation for an effective lie
- Here is an example of a carefully thought-out deception: “I was late because when I left for the Moscow Ring Road, there was such a traffic jam that I had to return to the exit and, as a result, get to the detour.” And here's what a simple lie could look like: "There were traffic jams on the Moscow Ring Road."
- The simplicity of the lie will show that you have nothing to add to it.
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Don't involve other people in your deceit. Using someone as a witness or alibi will make the lie more complicated than it needs to be. If the person you're lying to checks your excuse, they may find out that you were lying.
- If you involve someone else in your lie, be sure to tell the person about it. Some people are unlikely to enjoy being a part of it.
- If you're planning your lies ahead of time, at least talk it over with the person and see if they're willing to cover for you. Don't confront him with a fact when you've already lied about his involvement.
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Make the lie believable. When deceiving, include only information that inspires confidence. Don't let the listener start asking questions about what you're saying. Lie as realistically as possible.
- Take a critical look at your lie and decide if it makes sense. Don't just rely on your own judgment, consider whether it sounds reasonable to the person you're lying to.
- For example, telling your wife that a bird flew into the house and broke the lamp is not very reasonable. But to say that you tripped over a dog and broke a lamp is more plausible.
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Add some truth to the lies. A completely unnatural lie is easier to detect, but a pinch of the truth will make it more convincing. Find a way to prove that part of your deception is true in order to reinforce that deception as a whole.
- Real emotions are easier to express when you're telling the truth, not when you're lying. If you put emphasis on the truthful part, you can mask your emotions.
- For example, you lingered in the company of friends, where your ex-girlfriend Olya was. Tell your current girlfriend: "I walked with Sasha, Nastya and Stas." You really were with them, but at the same time you concealed (and therefore lied) that Olya was there.
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Lie before the need arises. In order not to lie when under pressure, start a conversation about this topic yourself. Voluntarily lie before you are asked about something. Your interlocutor may decide that since you yourself gave out the information, then you are telling the truth.
- If the person you're lying to is already upset or suspicious, they're more likely to be skeptical about your lies. If he hasn't thought about the situation yet, he's more likely to accept your version without further questioning.
- If you went to your friends concert and they sounded terrible, walk up to them after the show and say, “You guys rocked!” before they have a chance to ask you about it.
Lies should be simple. Add details to sound more convincing, but don't overdo it or the lie will become too confusing. A well-thought-out deception involves many details to remember, and usually needs more explanation. It's easier to stick to simple, straightforward lies.
Remember the lies
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Write down the details of the lie. When cheating, the hardest thing is to stick to what you said. And even harder if you need to repeat a lie after some time. And The best way avoid this - write down your words.
- If you have time to come up with a plan, write it out first. If you lie spontaneously, make notes about who you lied to and what you said.
- If the lie is short-lived and soon forgotten, you may not need to keep a piece of paper with written words for a long time. In case the lie may come up in the future, you need to keep the leaflet somewhere safe.
- Recording will help bring clarity and remember what was said. Even if you immediately throw away the paper, the lie will still settle better in your head.
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Try saying the lie out loud. As a rule, the truth is easier to remember, and if you lie, you can forget what exactly you wanted to say. Repeating the lie over and over will help you deliver it more effectively.
- If you're lying here and now, you probably won't have time to practice. You can repeat what was said later to remember exactly that you lied.
- If you have time to practice ahead of time, rehearse lying in different ways to find the best one.
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Record on video how you lie. For small lies, a video camera is not necessary, but for preparing a big lie, video can be useful. Look at yourself on the recording to determine if the lie sounds convincing. If not, think of a way to fix it.
- It's like lying in a mirror, but the mirror is actually quite distracting. Recording a video will help you determine if a lie is convincing.
- If you are lying believably, watch the video several times to remember the wording and manner of presentation.
Control your body while lying
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Don't bring your hands to your face. As a rule, deceivers move their hands a lot and restlessly. Keep your arms along your body if you are standing, or on your knees if you are sitting. Don't rub your chin or nose. Don't run your hands through your hair.
Stay calm. Rocking back and forth, stomping your foot, or generally moving around a lot are all signs that you are lying. Also, don't over-shrug your shoulders. By completely relaxing your body and not moving, you will add self-control to your appearance And don't make people suspicious.
Keep your arms open and do not cross them. Crossing your arms is considered a closed posture, and when you lie, you unwittingly expose yourself. So don't do it. Keep your arms along your body or, if you are sitting, place them on your knees.
Control blinking. Cheaters usually blink nervously, and this clear sign visible to people. Also, keep in mind that if you keep your eyes open for a long time, this will also be suspicious, so make a conscious attempt to blink in a normal manner.
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Use eye contact to your advantage. One of the indisputable signs of a lie is that a person averts his eyes from the interlocutor. Control the direction of your gaze to disguise lies. Look the person in the eye long enough to make them believe you.
- You need to find a balance between too little and too much eye contact. If you stare at a person without looking away, you will look just as suspicious as if you never met their eyes at all.
In order to lie and not blush, you need to prepare in advance. The main thing is to believe yourself: you are telling the truth. First, sit down and explain to yourself why your lie is going to be a white lie. Then draw in your imagination a movie about how everything happened. Clearly imagine the time, place, details, words. You do not compose, you remember what happened. Fall in love with this reality. Then others will believe in it. You can also, in detail, imagine how you will tell it.
Try to live the future lie
Imagine yourself in the situation that you are going to imagine and try to mentally live it. Surely at some point you will feel tension or discomfort. Tension is primarily a physical reaction. Notice when it occurs and release it by jumping or breathing deeply. Then in the future you will not feel constrained. Do not exaggerate the extent of your lies. The more you wind yourself up, the less naturally you will lie. And people usually think more about themselves than about you and your fantasies.
Train on cats
Before you talk about a fictional incident, practice. Tell the same story to someone for whom it is not significant at all. If possible, tie the event you're about to lie to something real and build your story around what actually happened. Your version should contain a lot of details. They attract attention and distract from the main thing. And finally, if you have to tell a lie, from the very beginning of the conversation they agreed on fatigue. So you will immediately give an explanation for your insecure behavior.
Stirlitz recipe
There is nothing worse than the painful expectation of someone else's reaction to your words, when you have already told a lie, but have not yet received a reaction in response. Wouldn't they believe? This pause can be filled with something emotionally significant. Knock over a cup of tea, break the saucer. And no one will think about your words, everyone will deal with the elimination of the consequences of a small accident. And in the memory of the interlocutor, fragments of this incident will remain, and not how you turned pale and blushed a few minutes ago.
Believe in your own lies
This is the most important thing: if you manage to convince yourself that all this is true, others will believe in it themselves. Just remember that a white lie is not a lie that can harm someone. After all, in fact, you are an honest young lady, right?