Where to go if you don't know anything. What to do if you don’t know where to go: choice of profession, life priorities and advice from psychologists
At the very time when graduates decide which university to take their documents to, and those who did not get points on the Unified State Exam are thinking about going to college or finding a job, psychologist and TV presenter Andrey Maksimov released new book- this time for teenagers. Maybe she can help difficult situation choice, because it is also devoted to calling, the search for the cause of life. Yes, the author categorically does not advise parents to read this book (he says that it will annoy adults) - so we warned adult readers of the site.
A vocation is not about finding a prestigious, well-paid job. It's about finding what you want to do.
For several years, the famous Harvard University studied a large group of graduates who achieved their goals in life. It turned out that 85% (!) succeeded because they aspired to it, and only 15% - because they had the ability.
Here is the power of desire! Aspiration is realized only when you really want to realize it.
Maybe you know that such a unique person lives in our world - Nick Vujicic. He has no limbs. Everyone advised young Nick to become an accountant, believing that for a man who has neither arms nor legs, this is quite a suitable occupation.
But Nick was not at all interested in this occupation! He dreamed of becoming a preacher, traveling all over the world and telling people about how to become happy! Nothing, it would seem, contributed to the realization of this dream. And first of all his physical state. But desire won. And today Nick Vuychich is one of the most famous and, by the way, highly paid preachers in the world.
Have you ever thought about the fact that in all ages all - without exception - the great people were engaged only in what they were interested in? great person- this is the one who has found a calling and devoted his life to its realization. Great people in life had a lot of problems, a lot of difficulties. But they are everything! - worked with pleasure. Why?
Because they did what they wanted. It is impossible to achieve serious success in a business if you are doing it, say, only for the sake of money or for the sake of prestige.
“You will realize that you have found the object of your passion,” writes Nick Vuychich, “when your talents, knowledge, strength and willingness to work unite and fill your soul with such joy, which is familiar only to a child who has received his favorite toy. Work and pleasure will merge together.”
You can object: they say, where are the great people and where am I?
Or you can try to take their example.
Your choice.
calling and money
"Well, okay, - I can hear your voice - the voice of the reader of my book. - About the fact that vocation is a desire, we understood. But no one canceled money, right? and where to apply your talent, the financial side does not need to be borne in mind at all?
All - without exception - the great people were engaged in their work with passion and pleasure. They could plow for twenty-four hours in fact, because they loved their job very much. In their work, they liked the process, not the result. Some of them have achieved enormous material well-being. Others didn't succeed. But both of them were happy. Because only a person who is passionate about his work can be happy.
By choosing a job for material reasons, you automatically cross yourself off the list of those who can even try to become someone outstanding.
I respect money. I understand that they open up great opportunities. I understand that they are needed. But I really like the saying of some genius, in my opinion, the great French writer Honore de Balzac, who claimed that money is good servants but bad masters. Pretty well said!
The world around you screams endlessly - from TV screens, from the pages of glossy magazines, from advertising posters: "Get rich! And your life will become beautiful!" And almost no one ever says: "Find your calling! Discover yourself - yourself! And you will be happy!".
To a large extent, this is why you see so many people around you - both rich and not so, and even poor - who are engaged in an unloved business and suffer about it.
It's a choice. And no one will do it except you.
The method of finding a vocation was developed by me on the basis of the method of nature correspondence Johann Heinrich Pestalozzi. Let me remind you that Pestalozzi proceeded from the fact that the task of a person is to discover and develop in himself the talent inherent in Nature (God). Hence the name of his method.
The genius of pedagogy believed that a person should search for a vocation starting at the age of five, moreover, at the age of seven, he can already generally decide what to do in life.
My method is designed for parents who need to help their children find a calling. However, if a person who is of the age of a scout reads this chapter in the hope of deciding on his vocation, it means that his parents missed the age when it was necessary to assist the scout in the search for his talent. And now you have to do it yourself.
First challenge: figure out what you enjoy doing the most. I emphasize again: not something that will bring you a lot of income in the future; not something that comes easy to you; but what you like to do, what makes your life interesting, without which it is difficult for you to exist.
For example, you like to play on the computer.
OK. But playing on a computer cannot be a matter of life.
Because the world is so arranged that the work of a person must certainly be directed to others. Otherwise the world will fall apart.
Playing on a computer cannot be a matter of life, but inventing new computer games can.
Little Walt Disney loved to draw since childhood. And the boy John by the name of Rockefeller with early years he wrote down his income and expenses in a small book: he liked to watch the movement of money. As a result, the first became a great cartoonist, and the second became a great businessman.
It is very important to observe yourself and think about which of your addictions can become your calling.
Do you enjoy interacting with people? Wonderful. So, your future profession may be related to communication. For example, a psychologist. Or a journalist, but in this case you have to love to write, because even a TV and radio journalist has to write a lot of texts.
Do you enjoy being an organizer? There are a huge number of professions associated with this business. For example, a producer.
The main thing is not to be afraid of your desires!
Verification of vocation by boredom and laziness
Next stage- foremost. I call him setting more complex creative tasks.
What does it mean?
You like to draw. Great. You draw what God puts on the soul. Make your life difficult. Try drawing something you've never painted before, like a portrait or a landscape.
You like doing physics. Very good. Do you easily solve problems in your class? Amazing! Try to solve more complex problems.
If what you like to do is your calling, then more complex problems will only provoke you, arouse interest. It can be difficult, sometimes even temporarily hands down, but the desire will definitely win.
What if he doesn't win?
So there was no desire.
Calling in no way abolishes work, but it makes it desirable.
Many famous musicians told me that at the beginning of their career there was always a moment from music. For example, when it was necessary to learn scales. But sooner or later the desire to play still prevailed.
Have you ever wondered why a person is never lazy to do what interests him? If you like to draw or solve problems in physics, then you can, of course, get tired of this activity, but so that you are too lazy to do it ... Hardly.
If laziness, that is, an unwillingness to continue working, constantly arises when you are doing what seems to you your calling, this is a sign that you are on the wrong path.
Boredom is something that absolutely cannot be when a scout realizes his talent. And if you regularly experience it while doing something, then you need to listen to yourself again, look for new desires and test them with new creative tasks.
There is nothing wrong with giving up one thing and embarking on a search for a new one.
How to choose a future profession if you like several things at once?
This is where the conscious decision comes in.
One of my acquaintances scout dreamed of being an artist. But at the same time he played football very well. And one day, at the age of fifteen, he was invited to a professional football club.
The moment of choice has come. It was obviously impossible to play football professionally and at the same time go to the theater studio and play on stage.
The young man thought. I consulted with my parents. I talked with the coach and the head of the theater studio. He figured out where he would like to see himself all his life: on the football field or on the stage and TV screen ...
And chose acting. The main argument was that he could always play football. Let not on professional level, but this game will not leave him. But it is impossible to engage in acting at an amateurish level.
What if I don't have a calling?
Know that this does not happen. There is no such person on earth to whom the Lord (Nature) would not give any calling. I am convinced that God (Nature) creates only soloists. People turn themselves into extras.
How to find your calling?
Search. Listen to yourself. Consult with those people (both adults and peers) whose opinion is important to you. It also happens that a person does not believe that some of his aspirations can become a profession. This is where wise counselors can help.
Finding a calling is a business that always ends in success. There can be no defeat here if you do it consciously, focusing on your own desires.
Did you find a calling? Check Yourself: 7 Questions
If you feel like you've found a job that could be your calling, ask yourself the questions he recommends asking. Nick Vujicic. Read them carefully and try to answer them.
- What turns you on?
- What makes you happy to meet every day?
- What are you willing to do for free - just to do?
- What do you never get tired of?
- Is there something for which you are ready to give all your material wealth?
- What are you willing to sacrifice any comfort for, just to do what you love?
- Achievements in what area bring you the deepest satisfaction?
Do you have answers to these questions?
Great! It means that the deed is done: you have found your calling, in other words, you have embarked on the path of achieving happiness.
To everyone who does not know who to become, what profession to choose, fiery greetings! For all the time, working with teenagers (and we will not fall into my biography) I observed the same thing, many of them do not know who to go to study and if there are those who seem to know who they would like to be, they do not know that this the choice will bring in the future: income, perspective, stability? My advice and suggestions had a positive effect and in the future, in practice, they showed that the guys were successfully able to understand themselves. I share this with you too. Firstly: any direction not yet chosen by you requires careful study, no matter how you dream and imagine magical success. Much, at first glance, will be annoying and seem unnecessary. There are no easy ways.
Whether you want to be a singer, an actor, or a great athlete, there are nuances, hard work, and challenges. And “problems” are the main thing that you must learn to deal with and resolve calmly and without panic (with a notebook and a pen). Secondly: it is not necessary to choose one thing and only in a narrow direction. As a wise man once said: you never know something well until you have enough choice.
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And thirdly: try to try and develop yourself wherever at least something interests you (creativity is born just from this) For example: if you like to draw, try everything related to it: paints, crayons, different styles, ways. "Google to help you" If you like to choose clothes, study everything: styles, fashion of different times and centuries, the combination of colors in clothes, the characters of people, the color and style suits them, sewing and design, leading fashion designers. Remember all the most famous people they started small, from the school bench, with a simple needle in their hand. And now the main thing! To start your journey of choosing yourself in life, start with school, take a look at what lessons you like the most, what interests you? If it's biology, then attach chemistry here. Professions: doctor, veterinarian, and even a scientific, perhaps, employee in microbiology, awaits you, depending on how much you, of course, will be drawn into these sciences. Do not think about income, because you can become a millionaire in any profession if you love your business and work very much. For example: a veterinarian can open a network of clinics, pet nurseries, and so on (if only there was imagination and a great desire). A teacher, if he really thinks that retirement is far away, to simply sit at school, open centers: preparing first-graders, preparing for admission, helping in control and difficult moments in his subject, a network of private kindergartens. You can invent anything, as long as you have enough imagination. I repeat: CHOOSING a profession or direction (in which you would like to develop), do not think about income, think about WHAT YOU LIKE IT. The next one is implementation. A pen and notepad is the first thing you should take. You can’t open a chain of stores with a “notepad and a pen.” But you can describe your first income, pros and cons. Start with something small, and most importantly, having started something, teach yourself discipline: "I said, I did." It is important! And so let's summarize: in order to make a choice, it will help you, the first: the choice of subjects (pleasant to you) at school and a more thorough study of them, the second: development in different directions so that you don’t like it and so that you don’t see it (develop and study it) even if it's not a school subject. Third: to bring your plan to life, get a notebook and a pen, write down everything you are trying to do, minuses and pluses. See how others who are already famous or successful are doing, read about how they have achieved success. Do not be afraid to repeat something. Because EVERYTHING new is born from the known old. No one could immediately magically sing and compose songs until he heard how others do it and learned from them. The world is very diverse, try as much as possible and you will definitely get to the point. If you don't look for anything, you won't find anything. Good luck!
It is good if the high school student has already decided on his future profession. We have many examples of goal-oriented guys who are preparing to become engineers, IT specialists, philologists or doctors. Many hours of classes occupy all the time of future artists and musicians. Children and their parents are concerned about comparing admission conditions in different universities, cities and countries, preparing for exams, collecting documents and writing motivation letters correctly. But there is often another situation.
Time is running out, receipt on the nose, and nominee has yet to be determined what he wants to do in life. Perhaps it is economics, or maybe finance, or even Chinese philology, but definitely not graphic design or psychology. Although, why not? Parents are in a panic, the graduate is under stress, the environment adds anxiety: so have you decided? already decided where to go? No, but the Ivanovs have applied to five universities and are waiting for an answer, the Petrovs' son is preparing a portfolio, and the Sidorovichs' daughter sits at night, studying the material for the exam. What should a graduate and parents do in such a difficult situation?
1) Take a deep breath - exhale and calm down: life does not end with the end of the introductory campaign. Moreover, in some Polish universities admission is possible until the end of September. If there is no decision today, it does not have to be made tomorrow. Mistake in choosing a university, a hasty decision will cost more in the end.
2) In a calm state, it makes sense to think: what training option is the graduate ready for now? What is his level in English ? Which Polish level if studying in Poland is considered? What are his grades and, most importantly, knowledge on topics subjects he liked at school?
3) We remembered our favorite subjects, we gradually determine the area of \u200b\u200binterest. In such a situation, the easiest way to do this is by elimination: physics? no (we brush aside engineering), history? boring (questionable liberal arts) figures? not mine (exact sciences and finances are most likely to be crossed out). Together with parents, because they know their child like no one else, calmly think about the nature of the future profession. An introvert will prefer working with data or numbers, an extrovert cannot live without communication and will most likely be happy working with people. A creative and spontaneous person will hardly fit into the banking corporate culture, and a lover of order and system will have a hard time in the atmosphere of a design bureau or PR agency.
4) If you have found a sphere of interest, then you can consider basic education in a particular area, choosing enough good university to get a strong base. It can be economics, English philology, mathematics, chemistry, energy, cultural studies, journalism, law, computer science or general psychology. The purpose of education in this case: to introduce into the environment of interest and to give the basics. Do not choose construction as a basic education railways, air transport safety or health tourism. Here, the more general the specialty looks, the better, in contrast to the case when a graduate clearly knows what he wants to do. Before admission, it is desirable to have time for language classes , so there is time for this decision until September.
5) It happens that the sphere is not groped. It's neither good nor bad, there's no one's fault or fault. Our education system is built in such a way that admission to a university occurs at the age of 17, at the age of trial and error. The same Poles go to school at the age of 7, receive a certificate at 19 and end up in a university closer to 20 years, which is dramatically different from our 17 years. So we return to point 2) and think about in which country would you like to study and in the future to live and work. If Europe is included in the circle of interests, and Poland can be seen as a stepping stone to European Community or an independent country to live in, that is, a simple solution. You can sign up for preparatory department at the university (relevant for boys) or at annual courses at language school (who does not need a reprieve from the army). Living in Warsaw or another major Polish city, studying Polish or English, or both at once, our graduate will be able to freely attend a huge number of free lectures, master classes, educational and cognitive events that are held in many universities. For example, Civitas University throughout the year invites graduates to free lectures on subjects taught in different faculties, so that the guys can taste different material and decide consciously. Every week somewhere the announcement of the conference, somewhere the day open doors, somewhere a lecture or a discussion screening of a documentary or feature film. Walk, listen, choose. You can still attend courses for maturists (preparation for matura) in those subjects in which there is a lack of knowledge (see point 2). They are usually held in the evening and are inexpensive.
Everyone has their own path, and he does not necessarily follow the path of the best student in the class or the favorite of the family. Due to the specifics of education and life in our country, it is sometimes even difficult for our graduates to imagine what specialties exist. What professions can give a decent income for normal life in a civilized country. And we do not think that the year of preparation for admission can be called a "lost" year. Rather, it will be a great, fruitful year under the motto "search and find".
Do not worry, do not stress, as the Poles say. Come to us for a consultation before the recruitment season starts. Good luck to all applicants, and their parents - patience and health!
The editors of the magazine "Foma" received a letter from a teenager who is puzzled by the choice of his professional future.
The letter is commented by Kirill Kuznetsov, head of the vocational counseling department of the Center for Humanitarian Technologies, and Konstantin Olkhovoi, a psychiatrist and psychotherapist.
Here is the full letter and comments of experts.
Hello, now I’m almost 17 years old, I’m in the 11th grade and I don’t know at all who I should be, where to go to study ... The fact is that from 9 to 16 years old I did nothing except play games on the PC.
But one fine day, I finally understood and realized that games do not develop me in any way and pull me to the bottom, due to the fact that I spent a lot of time at the computer, I rarely went out, as a result of which there are very few friends (on the fingers can be counted). From the age of 13-14, in parallel, playing computer games for days, I began to go in for sports, but because of my strong passion for games, I either gave up or practiced again.
Now I'm 16 and there are six months left until the end of grade 11, and I seriously rethought my life, most recently I started reading books several times a day, exercising and even eating right. But day by day I am disturbed by thoughts of who I should be in this life and who I should become. The main problem is that apart from going to study as a programmer and seriously studying programming, I no longer see prospects for the future (in material terms) and I’m already sick of a computer and a laptop just at one sight, because I’m immediately overwhelmed by memories and thoughts how much time I wasted sitting at the computer and playing games.
I live in a city where there are no prospects, all that is here is my peers, who only do what they smoke and drink, and roam the streets, trying to seem cool and important, from work in my city, only mines, shops and factory that has been closed for a long time.
I understand that it is necessary to choose a profession to your liking, which you will really like, and only then you can succeed in it. But I really don’t like anything, except for sports (horizontal bar, bars, dumbbells, etc.). What should I do now, I want to choose a profession, work and develop in the chosen direction, but I can’t do anything and, so to speak, there is no “thrust” for anything.
Alexei
After passing the tests on the sites and having studied the list of professions, figure out what you need to achieve your goals. Make a plan for your actions. It is a really difficult stage in your life that requires full dedication, diligence and work. But this stage is inevitable - everyone goes through it. See how often your peers on the Web share their personal experience experiencing this stage, and often preparing for the exam together - you can find many useful video tutorials on the Internet. Now it is important to pass the exams well, because where you will study depends on it.
You are in search of yourself, which means that you have already passed the main stage of an attempt at self-determination - and this is a positive result. Do not be afraid to make a mistake, do the wrong thing, or quit studying. It is always the most valuable experience.
Psychiatrist and psychotherapist.
Alexei, like many other teenagers, is in a strange and incomprehensible situation for him. He is confused, because at the age of 16 "society" demands to decide on the choice of a future profession for the rest of his life. But to make such a choice when it is not yet clear what you want and what you like, when there is no conscious motivation to study, is almost impossible. The myth of such responsibility weighs heavily on adolescents.
But I can reassure Alexei: none normal person at the age of 16, he cannot know exactly what he will do for all his working 50 years of his life. Activities throughout life can change, and this is normal.
The problem is that often the desire to get rid of this responsibility finds a destructive way out: people hide behind circumstances - this is such a standard myth about a city in which there are no prospects, a country where there is no "growth", an environment that "did not finish", "lost years who can't be caught up." But such a view is not constructive. dumping everything on external circumstances, we behave like a baby who closes his eyes and thinks he is hiding. And instead of acting to change the status quo, we begin to wait for everything to miraculously change or ... Or we prepare to passively go with the flow.
Don't expect a miracle. Or rather, do not bet on a miracle. It is important to understand that a lot of things in life are determined not by circumstances, but by ourselves. Look at this "trouble" as a reason to improve your life, turn the problem into a task! Let's look at Alex. He is a young man in good physical shape, he is mobile and can work hard, he does not have the "burden" of a family of six children, which means that he has a huge number of options to change the situation that will not lead to serious consequences.
It makes no sense to say "I'm not doing well and I won't succeed." I understand that perhaps these stereotypes were imposed by the environment and there is no support. I understand that a person in such a situation is hard and anxious, but the main task today is to switch from thinking about hopelessness and think about what you can start doing here and now.
Fear of failure can be paralyzing, but it can be made mobilizing. You can tell yourself that I don't want to live like this, that I want to get out of the vicious circle! And on this, gather your will into a fist and begin to improve your life. Let it be small, even tiny steps in the beginning, but let them be. You can mourn 5 years of your life in the coming years and decades, or you can act and move forward. Of course, if you constantly think about the “lost years”, you can say to yourself: “We didn’t live well and it’s not worth starting.” Still worth it! For starters, you can try to do what you most want: for example, get out of this city. So set yourself a challenge! Since it seems to you that you are in a hole, remember that anyone can get out of it - a waiter, a doctor, and a sergeant Russian army. The main thing is to get out!
When I say this, I'm not fantasizing. I myself entered the medical institute not at the age of 17, but at 27. And before that I was a soldier and a mechanic, the director of a small store and a paramedic. I don’t have a complex that I went to study so late, and I don’t think that these ten years of my life were wasted years - on the contrary, they gave me a huge life experience.
So, from any work you can extract a lot of useful things. For example, many people say that the army is a waste of time. But for me, the army served as the most valuable psycho-training. There I learned to negotiate and get along with huge amount most different people. This gave me an understanding of my future profession - I realized that I can talk to people, not only when they feel good, but also when they feel bad. It may seem paradoxical, but the army is, especially in small settlements, an effective social lift for a young person. This is another opportunity to get out of the hinterland through new acquaintances and connections.
So, clearly ask yourself the question: am I really a "loser" or just afraid of not living up to society's expectations? If "loser", then ... Then you might want to become a winner! But on the expectations of "society" you can generally spit and go your own way. But it is extremely important to remember: firstly, almost everything on this path depends on you; secondly, this path cannot be covered in one month, not even in one higher education- this is a long movement, where every step is significant; thirdly, this path will never consist of only victories, there will inevitably be defeats, which means you will have to learn how to get up after "falls".
Now you are at the very beginning of this path - you are experiencing a personality crisis. But in fact, all crises in life are connected precisely with this definition of one's place in life. I really love this phrase: "the crises of life - the chances of life." Crises are given to us so that we can change something; without them, movement is impossible. After such crises, we can roll down, or we can take off ... and it depends on how much we work on ourselves physically and mentally.
And the fear… Well, that's normal. There is a good saying: "All people are divided into two categories: those who are afraid and those who are afraid and do it!" Do it!
Prepared material: Anastasia Bavinova
Life is developing rapidly. Every year, dozens of professions go overboard. And it is becoming more and more difficult for high school students to decide on their future specialty. It's good when you know for sure that you are interested in marine life or distant nebulae. And if there is no clear vocation, how can you decide on a university? Futurologists announce a revolution in the system vocational education, which should occur in the next 10-20 years. The main premise is that in a rapidly changing world it is impossible to prepare in advance specialists with the necessary skills. Perhaps the concept of continuous distance education. Universities with departments and cheerful student skits will become a thing of the past. Education will become distance learning, and you will have to deal with it all your life, constantly gaining knowledge and skills. Already now there are a lot of online projects with a subscription to video lectures and the opportunity to receive confirmation certificates.
Field of activity
Career guidance specialists advise choosing not a profession, but a field of activity. For this, there are many career guidance tests and consultations of career guidance specialists. There are also free municipal centers where such specialists work. Information about them can be obtained from the school or the department of education. Tests reveal a person's tendencies. Classics - types of professions according to E. Klimov:Man - nature (veterinary medicine, biology, Agriculture, geology, agricultural technology, biotechnology, medicine),
Man - technology (engineering specialties, construction, mechanics, etc.),
Man is a sign system (mathematics, programming, accounting),
Man - man (pedagogy, physical education, medicine, services),
Man is an artistic image (art history, music, design, choreography).
Preferences can be identified already at the age of 13-16 years. For some, it categorically does not add up with the “man-to-man” format, for others there is an obvious conflict with technology or a sign system ...