Overcoming difficult life situations. The myth of overcoming difficulties Parental Saturdays, their essence
You always need to fight for your life, not giving in to any troubles. This is its meaning, Ernest Hemingway believed. We offer stories about amazing people who, thanks to the strength of their character, overcame all the difficulties sent to them by fate.
1. Vyacheslav dust - "Coffee house".
In 2016, the novel by Vyacheslav praha turned the book world upside down. This is a story about loneliness. Main character The book tries to come to terms with the murder of his wife. While two strangers come to the same coffee shop for several months. And one day they start a conversation.
A book within a book is a poignant story about happiness in a fleeting moment, about separation. O spiritual emptiness sometimes difficult to complete. About love leading to heaven and hell. Psychological drama about the relationship between two people who have no future.
2. jojo moyes - "see you".
Lou does not know that she is about to lose her job and that in the near future she will need all the strength to overcome the problems that have fallen on her. Will knows that the motorcyclist who hit him took away his will to live. But both heroes do not even assume that they will soon change each other's lives forever.
3. Margaret Atwood - "aka Grace!
In 1843, a crime occurred in Canada that still haunts psychologists and criminologists. Grace Marks, a maid, was accused of the extremely brutal murder of her master. Her lawyer managed to prove to the jury that she was weak-minded. Grace was released 29 years later. But was she truly insane? Whose pernicious spirit moved into her body?
4. Ruben David Gonzalez gallego - "White on Black".
When it seems to you that life is unfair and everything is going wrong, just open the gallego book and stay for a while in the world of its characters - people with handicapped. Their optimism and a completely non-standard view of familiar things will become a real cure for you.
5. Abdel sellu - "You Changed my Life."
The true story of the main characters of the French film "The Untouchables" ("1 1". The story of the amazing friendship of two people - a paralyzed French aristocrat and an unemployed Algerian immigrant. But they met. And their lives changed.
6. Liza Jenova - "Forever Alice".
A novel about the battle waged by a woman with a serious illness - a battle for memory, thoughts, memories, for her loved ones and loved ones. The inner meaning of the novel is that, despite the difficult circumstances, you need to remain true to yourself, to understand that every day you live brings with it new opportunities for life and for love.
7. Liana Moriarty - "What Alice Forgot".
After the accident, Alice forgot the last 10 years of her life. The most unpleasant discovery for her is herself: she is 40 years old, she is at the stage of divorce, she is a bitch, and no one loves her. Alice is trying to fix something - because she only remembers the good times. Will she succeed?
8. Daniel keys - "The Mysterious History of Billy Milligan".
24 separate individuals, different in intelligence, age, nationality, gender and worldview, exist in one person. Billy Milligan is the real and most mysterious and crazy character in our history, a kind of experiment of nature on man.
9. Eric Segal - "Oliver's Story".
"Oliver's Story" is a continuation of Seagal's famous book "Love Story". Oliver Barratt loved Jenny Cavilleri and she loved him. But Jenny died, and Oliver lived. How man lives after losing everything you love? How can he return to the people? And can? An amazingly beautiful book. 10. Michael - "Down Remer".
The history of the bone is consonant with "Rain Man". It is written for people who are not indifferent, for those whose soul has not yet completely hardened. Kostya never pretends and does not wish harm to anyone. But he knows how to enjoy life as few of us do - a young man is a child with a spotless soul and a rich, but not like our inner world.
People who overcame life's difficulties and became famous
People who were able to overcome life's difficulties
12 outstanding people who were able to overcome life's difficulties, changed their present and our future.
Steve Jobs
He lost his parents a week after birth - they abandoned the child they did not need. He tried to go to college, but after the first semester he was expelled. April 1, 1976 Steve Jobs founded Apple Computer. In 2011, Apple became the most valuable company in the world.
Ernest Hemingway
AT early childhood Mom forced Ernest to sing in the church choir, and his father wanted him to become a doctor, but he chose the path of a writer. For his work, Hemingway received wide recognition and became a laureate Nobel Prize on literature
Coco Chanel (Gabrielle Bonheur Chanel)
Her mother died when she was barely twelve, and her father sent Gabrielle and her four brothers to live in an orphanage. At the age of 18, she got a job as a salesperson in a clothing store and quickly settled into the fashion world. In 1913, Gabrielle opened her atelier, and a little later, the Chanel brand became known throughout the world and still occupies the position of a premium brand.
Stanley Kubrick
When he was thirteen years old, his father gave him a camera, and for the first time he saw life through the lens. With the first money he earned, Stanley made a short film, and at the age of 24 he received an award as the best director.
Ray Charles
In early childhood, he lost his sight, but this did not stop him from becoming a great jazz musician. During his career, he recorded over 70 albums and was awarded 17 Grammy awards.
Diego Maradona
Maradona was the fifth child in the family, but the first boy. When Maradona was 7 years old, his cousin gave him the very first ball in his life. Diego was so delighted with the gift that he fell asleep with him in his arms on the first night. In the game, little Diego did not succeed, older players slipped past or circled him, but the pressure and determination made him the best football player of the 20th century and the scorer of the century.
Guy Laliberte
He started as a simple circus performer, playing the accordion, walking on stilts and swallowing fire. But Laliberte's faith and hard work made his circus "Du Soleil" the most popular in the world, and he celebrated his 50th birthday in space.
Martin Cooper
"People thought I was crazy when I tried to explain to them that a small, pocketable cordless phone is not only possible, but a huge success" Martin Cooper - the man who invented the cell phone
Jacques-Yves Cousteau
One day he saw scuba diving goggles in a store. Having dived into them, he realized that from now on his life undividedly belongs to the underwater kingdom. So Captain Cousteau went down in history not only as an outstanding explorer of the World Ocean, but also as a talented cinematographer, author of many books, scuba inventor and traveler.
Mark Zuckerberg
While still a student at Harvard, the wunderkind founds a brilliant project and gains wild popularity. He leaves school to spend all his time on his brainchild - Facebook. Its goal is to change existing world. And he did it!
Nikola Tesla
He grew up in a poor family with many children, from childhood he was distinguished by extraordinary perseverance and willpower. Outstanding electrical engineer, inventor in the field of electrical and radio engineering. In 1893, he patented a radio transmitter, laying the foundation for the principles of radio and cellular communications. Contemporaries - biographers considered Tesla "The Man Who Invented the 20th Century".
Henry Ford
Born into a family of emigrants, at the age of 16 he ran away from home in order to achieve what he wanted. In 1893 he designed his first car, and in 1903 he founded the Ford Motor Company plant, where the industrial conveyor was first used. The plant exists and makes a profit to this day.
Throughout life, each of us may encounter obstacles that need to be overcome. But how to do it so as not to lose the human form? Classical literature has not ignored this problem. And such writers of the nineteenth century as Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy, Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky and many others, each tried to answer the question in his own way.
So, F.M. Dostoevsky in the novel "Crime and Punishment" shows us a poor young man, Rodion Raskolnikov, who committed a terrible sin. He kills an old pawnbroker and, by coincidence, her innocent sister. The murder occurs due to the fact that the hero of the novel decides to test one theory on himself, according to which all people are divided into two categories: some - “having the right” to send to kill or kill themselves, and others, the lowest grade, are “trembling creatures” , which are the majority.
Raskolnikov values himself highly enough and therefore, considering himself to be entitled, takes an ax in his hands. To kill something, he killed a malicious, according to him, and useless old woman. This also manifests such a trait of Raskolnikov as courage. But after the crime for Rodion, a “black” streak of life begins - punishment. Who is to blame for what happened? How now to live with such a burden? Napoleon, when he sent his soldiers to their deaths, did he think about the morality of his act? Such thoughts visit Raskolnikov during a period of mental anguish and life's difficulties. At this difficult moment, he meets with Sonya Marmeladova, who herself is not going through better times. She is forced to go “on a yellow ticket” to sell her body in order to save her family from starvation. This girl not only did not harden herself, but also helped Raskolnikov to understand that the cause of adversity must be sought, first of all, in oneself. To do this, you need to realize that you are wrong, go and repent of what you have done. This will be the first step towards finding yourself, a person.
Another example of revealing the problem of overcoming life's difficulties and preserving a person in oneself can be the epic novel by L.N. Tolstoy "War and Peace". Indicative in this respect is the Rostov family. The writer tells throughout the story that Count Rostov - good man and a family man, but a poor host. Manages his property Mitenka (as all Rostovs affectionately call him), the manager of the estates, is a rogue and a swindler. The wealth of the Rostovs is melting before our eyes. And Nikolai Rostov, called up by the countess from the army, is also unable to help. Despite the shaky situation, the Rostovs do not refuse home to anyone. Everyone continues to live with them (tutors, nannies, teachers and others) who believed that they would live better with the Rostovs than anywhere else.
Life difficulties and difficulties
Life difficulties are obstacles on the way to achieving the goal, requiring effort and effort to overcome them. Difficulties difficulties - strife. One difficulty is to find a toilet when needed, another difficulty is to stay alive,
Usually people do not like difficulties, but - some people meet some difficulties and even the failures that accompany them with joy. Difficult is not always undesirable. A person can rejoice in life's difficulties when these difficulties and failures open up new opportunities for him, give him the opportunity to test his own strengths, the opportunity to learn, gaining new experience.
From Carol Dweck's book "A Flexible Mind":
When I was a young aspiring scientist, an event occurred that changed my whole life.
I was passionate about understanding how people deal with their failures. And I began to study it, watching how junior schoolchildren solve difficult problems. So, I invited the little ones one by one to a separate room, asked them to make themselves comfortable, and when they relaxed, I gave them a series of puzzles to solve. The first tasks were quite simple, but then they became more and more difficult. And while the students puffed and sweated, I watched their actions and reactions. I assumed that children would behave differently when trying to cope with difficulties, but I saw something completely unexpected.
Faced with more serious tasks, one ten-year-old boy pulled a chair closer to the table, rubbed his hands, licked his lips and declared: “I love difficult problems!” Another boy, having sweated a lot over the puzzle, raised his pleased face and concluded weightily: “You know, I hoped so - it would be informative!”
“But what is the matter with them?” I couldn't understand. It never crossed my mind that failure could please someone. Are these kids aliens? Or do they know something? I soon realized that these children know that human abilities, such as intellectual skills, can be honed with effort. And that's what they were doing - getting smarter. Failure did not discourage them at all - it did not even occur to them that they were losing. They thought they were just learning.
Such a positive, or rather constructive attitude to the difficulties in life is characteristic primarily for people in the position of the Author and p.
How to overcome life's difficulties
Film "Terrible"
A psychologically difficult situation does not have to be lived with an unhappy face and difficult experiences. Strong people know how to keep themselves always.
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Everyone has life difficulties, but it is absolutely not necessary to make unhappy or desperate eyes, yourself or others, groan and portray. These are not natural experiences, but learned behavior and bad habits of the person living in.
The worst thing you can do is sink into despair, apathy, despondency or hopelessness. Despondency in Christianity is a mortal sin, and is a gloomy experience with which weak people harm themselves in order to take revenge on life and others.
To overcome life's difficulties, you need intelligence and spiritual strength, women need spiritual flexibility, and smart people show both. Be strong and flexible!
If you see problems in the difficulties you are facing - you will most likely feel heaviness and worry. - you will simply solve it, as you solve any problem: by analyzing the data and thinking about how to quickly reach the desired result . Usually all you have to do is (get yourself together), analyze the resources (think about what or who can help), think of the possibilities (solutions) and get started. Simply put, turn on your head and move in the right direction, see ..
Typical difficulties in self-development
Those who have been engaged in self-development, self-development, also know typical difficulties: the new is scary, there are many doubts, many things don’t work out right away, but you want everything at once - we scatter, sometime we calm down on the illusion of the result, sometime we go astray and return to the old course . What to do with it? Cm.
Many people are sure that if a person has certain health problems, then he will not be able to live. full life and won't be happy, but that's not the case at all.
Today Bright Side will tell you the stories of people who, despite illness and life’s difficulties, despite everything, have achieved their goals and are happy that they live and can do what they love.
Turia Pitt suffered severe burns in a fire
The story of Australian fashion model Turia Pitt, who lost her face after a fire, cannot leave anyone indifferent. At the age of 24, she was caught in a terrible fire, in which her body was burned by 64%. The girl spent six months in the hospital, went through many operations, lost all fingers on her right hand and 3 fingers on her left. Now she lives full life, poses for magazines, plays sports, surfs, rides a bike and works as a mining engineer.
Nando Parrado survived the plane crash and waited 72 days for help
Nando Parrado to Share ‘Miracle in the Andes’ at Lake Tahoe, August 10, 2015 http://t.co/oo4gArKFPv #thisisReno pic.twitter.com/DyGnFjakb5
This Is Reno (@ThisIsReno) March 6, 2015
The survivors of the disaster drank the melted snow and slept side by side to keep warm. There was so little food that everyone did everything to find at least some living creatures for a common dinner. On the 60th day after the accident, Nando and two of his friends decided to go through the icy desert for help. After the plane crash, Nando lost half of his family, and during the time after the crash he lost more than 40 kg of weight. Now he is engaged in lecturing on the power of motivation in life to achieve goals.
Jessica Cox became the world's first pilot without both arms
The girl was born in 1983 without both arms. Why was she born like this, the answer was never found. Meanwhile, the girl grew up, and her parents did everything so that she lived a full life. As a result of her efforts, Jessica learned to eat on her own, dress herself and went to a completely regular school and learned to write. From childhood, the girl was afraid to fly and even swung on a swing with closed eyes. But she overcame her fear. On October 10, 2008, Jessica Cox received an athlete pilot's license. She became the first pilot in the world without both hands, for which she got into the Guinness Book of Records.
Tanni Gray-Thompson has become world famous as a successful wheelchair racer.
Born with a diagnosis of spina bifida, Tunney gained worldwide fame as a successful wheelchair racer.
Sean Schwarner overcame cancer and climbed the 7 highest peaks on 7 continents
This man with capital letter- a real fighter, he overcame cancer and visited the 7 highest peaks of 7 continents. He is the only person in the world to have survived a diagnosis of Hodgkin's disease and Askin's sarcoma. He was diagnosed with cancer of the 4th and last stage at the age of 13, and according to the doctors' forecasts, he was not supposed to live even 3 months. But Sean miraculously overcame his illness, which soon returned when doctors re-discovered a golf ball-sized tumor on his right lung.
After the second operation to remove the tumor, the doctors decided that the patient would last no more than 2 weeks ... But now, 10 years later, partially using his lung, Sean is known to the whole world for being the first cancer survivor to climb Mount Everest .
Gillian Mercado, diagnosed with dystrophy, entered the fashion world and became successful
This girl proved that in order to get into the world of fashion, you do not need to comply with generally accepted canons. And it is quite possible to love yourself and your body, even when it is not perfect. As a child, the girl was diagnosed with a terrible disease - dystrophy, in connection with which she was confined to a wheelchair. But this did not prevent her from being in the world of high fashion.
Esther Werger - multiple champion with paralyzed legs
As a child, she was diagnosed with vascular myelopathy. In this regard, an operation was performed, which, unfortunately, only worsened everything, and she was paralyzed in both legs. But the wheelchair did not prevent Esther from playing sports. She quite successfully played basketball and volleyball, but tennis brought her worldwide fame. Verger has won 42 Grand Slam titles.
Michael J Fox overcame all the hardships associated with Parkinson's disease
The famous actor from the movie "Back to the Future" found out that he was sick when he was only 30 years old. Then he began to drink alcohol, but in spite of everything he gave up and devoted his life to the fight against Parkinson's disease. Thanks to his help, it was possible to raise $ 350 million for the study of this disease.
Patrick Henry Hughes, being blind and having undeveloped limbs, became a great pianist
Patrick was born without eyes and with deformed, weakened limbs, which makes him unable to stand. Despite all these conditions, the child at the age of one year began to try to play the piano. Later, he was able to enroll at the University of Louisville School of Music Marching and Pep Bands, after which he began to play in the Cardinal Marching Band, where he was constantly driven in a wheelchair by his indefatigable father. Now Patrick is a virtuoso pianist, winner of many competitions, his performances were broadcast by many TV channels.
Mark Inglis, the only man without legs to summit Everest
Climber Mark Inglis from New Zealand became the first and remains the only person without legs, who conquered Everest. 20 years earlier, he lost both legs, frostbitten them in one of the expeditions. But Mark did not part with his dream, he trained a lot and was able to conquer the highest peak, which is difficult even ordinary people. Today he continues to live in New Zealand with his wife and 3 children. He has written 4 books and works for a charitable foundation.
In the life of each of us there are difficult life situations, and we all react to troubles in our own way and look for a way out of a difficult situation in different ways. Some put up and adapting "go with the flow." Others are looking for a way out of a difficult life situation with the help of actions aimed at overcoming problems and troubles. Someone withdraws into himself and instead of trying to somehow overcome the difficulty, he prefers not to notice it. And many, cursing fate, only complain about a difficult life and, in fact, without solving any problems, fall into depression.
It is possible to generalize the behavior of people in difficult situations and describe ways of overcoming difficulties according to the transformation strategies that are used in these situations: co-ownership (adaptation and overcoming), protection and experience. But before we talk about them in detail, a few words about the concept of "difficult life situation".
So the concept of "difficult life situation" is interpreted by one of the Federal Laws of the Russian Federation - " Difficult life situation - this is a situation that directly disrupts the life of a person, which he is not able to overcome on his own". This law also provides several examples of difficult life situations- illness, disability, orphanhood, unemployment, insecurity and poverty, lack of a fixed place of residence, cruel treatment, conflicts, loneliness, etc.
The Russian psychotherapist, Fedor Efimovich Vasilyuk, who studies aspects of difficult life situations, proposes to understand them as situations of impossibility, in which a person faces the difficulty of realizing the internal needs of his life (aspirations, motives, values, etc.).
A difficult life situation is always characterized by a discrepancy between what we want (to achieve, do, etc.) and what we can. Such a discrepancy between desires and abilities and capabilities prevents the achievement of goals, and this entails the emergence of negative emotions, which signal the emergence of a difficult situation. A developing person, mastering and learning the world around him, but not possessing enough life experience, inevitably meet with something unexpected, unknown and new. The use of one's own abilities and capabilities in this situation may not be enough, therefore it can cause disappointment. And any difficult life situation leads to disruption of activity, deterioration of existing relations with the people around us, gives rise to experiences and bad emotions, causes various inconveniences, which can have negative consequences for the development of the individual. Therefore, a person should know as much as possible about options and ways.
Behavior Techniques People Most Often Use in Difficult Situations
Defense techniques - a group of non-adaptive (behavior that contributes to the emergence of severe mental distress) reactions to difficulties: depression, silent humility, depression, as well as avoiding difficult life situations and suppressing thoughts about the cause and source of the difficulty.
Overcoming - actions aimed at achieving success, changing and overcoming difficulties. They are associated with the expenditure of energy and with certain efforts; involves intense reflection aimed at solving a difficult situation, high level mental self-regulation , searching for the necessary information and involving other people in solving the problem.
By persistently transforming any difficult situation, a person changes greatly, but often these changes are unconscious and unintentional. However, sometimes the situation requires a conscious change in its characteristics, only in this case it is possible to achieve well-being and overcome difficulty. In this case, changing personal properties and attitudes to a difficult situation becomes the main strategy or an important component of another strategy.
DEVICE RECEPTIONS
- Adapting to the Basic Moments of the Situation(social attitudes, social norms, rules of business relations, etc.). Having mastered this technique, a person freely enters the world of morality and law, labor, culture, family relations. In normal social conditions, this technique determines success. For example, it helps to get used to new working conditions (in this case, a person successfully passes a probationary period) or in case of moving to a new place of residence. However, if a person got into a difficult situation, in a situation of upheaval, when something has changed dramatically, where new rules have not yet been formed, and the old ones no longer apply - this technique will not help.
- Adaptation to the characteristics and needs of others will have great value in situations of social upheaval. The study of this technique showed that it is most often used in the crisis stages of the development of society. Next to it is another method of adaptation - concern for maintaining the existing establishment of new social contacts.
- Choose a role for yourself and act in accordance with it. This technique is used by people in situations where the source of experiences and difficulties is their personal qualities and properties of its own character (for example, self-doubt or shyness), not allowing them to freely adapt to new living conditions, ask for help, etc. This technique consists in the conscious application of the identification mechanism. A person chooses to imitate a certain behavior model, it can be a movie character or a book character who embodies confidence, or a friend who has this missing quality. In a difficult life situation, he tries on the role of this character: he begins to behave differently, his gait, manner of speaking, his speech becomes persuasive He even begins to feel differently. Since he does not fully identify himself with the chosen role, but only “plays it,” he attributes all his failures and awkwardness to the chosen character, and not to himself. It helps to avoid embarrassment, to be more free from the opinions of others and do not reduce self-esteem when misses. With the right choice of role, it helps to cope with a difficult situation that arises in communication, and also causes tangible progress not only in behavior, but also in one’s own life values and settings.
- A commonly used form of adaptation is identification with more successful people or identification with serious and influential associations and organizations. People who have suffered disappointments and failures, who think they are a loser, sometimes resort to this technique. By identifying with a successful subject, they, as it were, add special abilities to themselves, and becoming an employee of an influential and authoritative organization, they not only get the opportunity to feel that they belong to it and talk about “our successes”, but also really begin to feel strong and act more successfully and effectively. confidently.
- Technique for identifying the boundaries of one's own capabilities, as a rule, is used with a sudden change in life circumstances. Most a prime example The person has become disabled. Once in such a difficult life situation, people are forced to drastically change their established way of life. At first, they learn about their capabilities. As a man walking through a swamp probes the ground, they analyze the measure of their remaining abilities and try to make up for what they have lost. It is worth noting that those who find themselves in unknown or complicated conditions also resort to house tactics.
- Foresight and anticipation of events. This technique is used by people who have already had a sad experience of failure or are waiting for the imminent onset of an approaching difficult life situation (for example, a layoff, an upcoming operation, or the death of a sick relative). Anticipatory sadness or preconceived notions are adaptive and allow the person to mentally prepare for possible difficult trials and make a plan to prevent unfortunate circumstances. Like any other method of coping with a difficult situation, anticipatory coping, depending on a particular situation, can be both beneficial and harmful.
(+) An example of the productive use of anticipatory coping is the experience often used in some foreign hospitals in preparing young patients for the intended operation. Medical staff under the guidance of a qualified psychologist arrange special role-playing games, during which the situation of the operation is played. Such psychological preparation reduces the fear of children before the operation and significantly speeds up their recovery.
(-) A clear example of a uniquely unproductive anticipatory coping is the so-called "Saint Lazarus symptom", psychologists have identified it when working with some relatives of HIV-infected people. It consists in such an attitude towards the patient, as if he is already dead and mourned (sometimes it comes to the point that family members avoid all communication with the sick person, openly collect money for a wake and prepare for his funeral).
AUXILIARY METHODS OF SELF-PRESERVATION IN DIFFICULT LIFE SITUATIONS
These are methods of dealing with emotional failures, which, according to the subject, occur in connection with insurmountable difficult situations.
- This is escape from a difficult situation. It occurs not only in the physical, but also in the purely psychological form- by suppressing thoughts about the situation and internal alienation from it (this may be a refusal to promotions, from other tempting offers). For people who have experienced a large number of different failures and disappointments, this avoidance of dubious connections and situations often becomes a personality trait. For them, it is the last line of defense.
- Rejection and rejection, traumatic, stunning and tragic event - another common method of self-preservation. Getting into a difficult life situation and faced with tragedy, rejection and denial of it, a person builds a psychological barrier on the way of penetration into his inner world this traumatic and devastating event. He gradually digests it in small doses.
Techniques overcoming difficulties with the help of adaptation and transformation can be both secondary and basic for a person, both situation-specific and characteristic. The situation-specific are: "resistance", "adjustment of one's expectations", "hope", "use of chance", "self-affirmation", "identification with the fates and goals of other people", "relying on other people", "postponing the satisfaction of one's own needs”, “the manifestation of aggression in the form of action or unfounded criticism" and etc.
TECHNIQUES TO USE IN CASES OF FAIL
Here will be given the techniques that people use in the case when for overcoming difficult life situations there is no way to solve them. That is, a person who has fallen into an unpleasant situation has made every effort to somehow solve it, but the problem remains unresolved and he has no other choice but to simply admit that he has failed. He experiences this defeat as a collapse of his personality, because he set himself a difficult task, put so much effort, hoped, and even saw her solution as part of future life. If a person has not experienced major failures and failures up to this time, he is overly vulnerable. In such a situation, a person tries in any way to maintain or restore a good attitude towards himself, a sense of his own well-being and dignity.
Most often in such cases, people try to discount failure by using psychological defense mechanisms that help reduce the burden. emotional experiences and do not require them to painfully reconsider their attitude towards themselves. Among these methods are:
- Object depreciation. Failing to find way out of a difficult situation, in this case, having failed to achieve an important goal (get married, go to college, defend a dissertation, etc.), a person lowers its significance. Thus, he discounts his failure (" Do I need it?», « It's not the most important thing in life”) and writes the difficult situation into his biography as an insignificant episode.
- Adjusting your hopes and aspirations. Since failure for most people is an unpleasant and difficult event that deprives a person of what he needs, he can resort to correcting hopes and expectations. Often this leads to minimization of needs. Of course, this method saves from failures, smooths out unpleasant sensations and experiences, but it impoverishes the future and in no way increases self-respect as a person.
- Acceptance is the acceptance of a situation as it really is. In psychology, this technique is sometimes called "patience" or even more often they use the phrase "let go of the situation" (i.e. stop actions that do not bring results to change a difficult situation). This is not a silent response to difficult life circumstances, but a conscious decision made after analyzing the life situation and comparing your own plight with the even worse situation of other people. This technique can be applied in a situation of disability or serious illness.
- Positive interpretation of your situation. This technique is similar to the previous one. It consists in using comparison options: people compare themselves with someone who is in an even more precarious position (“comparison goes down”), or recalls their merits and successes in other areas: “Yes, I didn’t succeed, but…” (“the comparison goes up”). Remember, one of the heroines of the popular film by E. Ryazanov “Office Romance” had such defensive phrases: “ I live outside the city, but next to the train», « My husband had a stomach ulcer, but Vishnevsky did the operation himself" etc.
In the life of each of us there are difficult life situations. Even in the most serene times, we face difficulties. For one, this is a job search or a change of residence, for another, it is their own illness or the illness of a loved one, divorce or the death of loved ones and relatives. So it was and always will be. Difficult life situations arise in the lives of children and adults, entire families and nations.
This article presents techniques and techniques largely related to adaptation to circumstances that can no longer be changed. There are opinions that such techniques indicate a passive strategy and an inability to cope with one's life. But in reality, everything is not so simple, because sometimes a temporary adaptation acts as a wise strategy for experiencing a difficult life situation, taking into account life prospects with their real features.
The simplest example is probationary period for employment dictates to a person the rules of the game to which he must adapt in order to get a job in a good place and be accepted in a new work collective. He knows, When is it better to be silent?, refuses self-affirmation and certain forms of behavior in favor of its future.
However, everyone has the right to independently choose those techniques and strategies from their repertoire that will help get out of a difficult life situation. Not always and not all of us are able to change. The most we can do is to take a sober look at the situation, focus our best efforts on changing what can be improved, and find ways to coexist with what cannot be changed.
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Trouble does not knock on the door - it breaks into life without asking, without explaining why and for what. It knocks down, deprives the ability to think and feel. To cope with fatal changes, you must not give up, you need to stock up on courage and boundless fortitude. Unfortunately, many people who find themselves in a tragic situation give up and sink into hopeless depression, never finding the strength to accept the new reality.
Maybe they will be helped by examples of people who were able to argue with fate and emerge victorious from this fight.
Little Nick was born into the family of a pastor and a nurse. He came to our world without arms and legs and asked his parents many times what his goal in life was. According to Nick Vuychich, the boundless love of his parents, faith and sense of humor helped him overcome fate and believe in himself. As he grew older, Nick acquired useful skills, learned to brush his own teeth, swim, type on the keyboard and much more. Today he lives a full life, has a family and two children.
But him main goal it became an opportunity to help people gain strength of mind and believe in their strength. Nick Vuychich awakens optimism in people and instills hope in them. To do this, he travels around the world with stories about his life, gives lectures, speaks to various audiences. When the most courageous tomboys ask Nick why he has no arms and legs, he always confidentially says: “Oh! It's all about cigarettes."
This very beautiful and incredibly cheerful woman has a life scheduled by the minute for 2 months in advance. She is a beloved wife, mother of two daughters and an active public figure. Ksenia travels all over the country with motivational lectures and conducts make-up master classes. And she is also a paralyzed disabled person, chained to a wheelchair until the end of her days.
In 2008, Ksenia suffered a severe spinal injury as a result of a car accident, which made it impossible for her to walk. At the time of the tragedy, she was pregnant and, according to her, love for her husband and a tiny creature in her stomach helped her survive the consequences of the accident and find herself “new”, because the old life was gone forever.
Ksenia Bezuglova advises people who find themselves in difficult situations to plunge headlong into work, leaving not a single free minute to whine and feel sorry for themselves. Ksenia herself has become a mouthpiece for wheelchair users, lobbies for motherhood issues, and in 2012 she became Miss World among the disabled.
Who said that only those who have ideal opportunities win in this life? The talented actor and favorite of women Sylvester Stallone has a partially paralyzed face and tongue.
These are the consequences of a birth trauma and he always knew about them. But this did not stop him from dreaming of a career as an actor and doing his best to achieve his dream. Yes, and good actors are not ideal handsome men, but those who know how to play.
For every person who is in love with his work, the situation when he loses the opportunity to do it is a disaster. This is what happened in the life of professional dancer Yevgeny Smirnov, when he lost his leg as a result of an accident.
But Eugene did not give up and decided to continue dancing! To do this, he needed to re-learn all the movements of breakdancing, learn how to move in a new way and keep balance.
Today, as before, he performs on stage with stunningly beautiful numbers, demonstrating determination and willpower.
Baby Madeline was born in Australia with Down syndrome and as soon as she grew up a little, she firmly stated that she wanted to be a model. Who would have thought that she would achieve her goal! Today she advertises handbags, sportswear, wedding dresses and participated as a fashion model at Fashion Week. According to Madeline's mother, her daughter was able to achieve her goal because she loved herself, believed in herself and saw no obstacles to fulfilling her dreams.
Madeline's road to the world of fashion and beauty was not easy and took time, she had to seriously engage in fitness and lose 20 kg. But now this red-haired and smiling girl walks the catwalk and is removed for gloss, regularly participates in shows and photo sessions. The launching pad for Madeline was Instagram, which brought the girl fame and attracted the attention of modeling agencies to her. But none of this would have happened without the irresistible desire of Madeleine Stewart to fulfill her cherished dream.
Andrea Bocelli
Blindness closes the visual world from a person, makes colors and images inaccessible to him. But the lack of vision maximally spurs the development of hearing and touch, makes a person thinner and more vulnerable, opens his heart to feelings.
Perhaps due to his lack, the Italian singer Bocelli was able to find a way to the heart of every listener, to fill his songs with meaning and positive. Andrea Bocelli is happy with his life, performs a lot, is married and has four children.
The body and face of this dark-skinned woman are flawless, but the beauty is so unusual that it fascinates and does not allow you to look away. Having a great figure and a beautiful face, Chantal dreamed of becoming a model and one day she was determined to make skin imperfections her advantage. Well, the fashion world had already stopped living by strict standards and was ready to accept it.
Today, Chantal is a well-known fashion model who, in addition to filming in glossy magazines, gives lectures to schoolchildren and unites people suffering from this skin disease.
Olesya has always loved sports and has been a professional swimmer, reaching the level of a master of sports. While vacationing with a friend in Thailand, they had an accident. A friend died, and Olesya's left arm was amputated. Such a tragedy can put an end not only to a sports career, but to a lifetime. But not at this time!
As soon as Olesya got stronger after the operation, she resumed swimming. Thanks to good results, she got into the Paralympic team of the Russian Federation and won 2 gold medals. AT Everyday life Olesya prefers to do without a prosthesis, she does everything with her right hand and is not at all embarrassed about this.
These are stories about ordinary people just like you and me. Despite the fact that the lives and problems of all the characters are different, they are united by one common quality - faith in themselves and a passionate desire to achieve their goals, which help to overcome all obstacles.
When you find yourself in a difficult situation, do not let fear paralyze you, look at obstacles not as a problem, but as an opportunity for growth, and use failures as experience. Let faith in yourself become the foundation of your future success.
Monday is not a milestone: life can be changed at any moment, and here is the evidence.
The Krakarace run is held for the third year and gathers more and more participants - their number is growing exponentially and has reached 300 people. More precisely, until the 301st. By the way, this person, who “spoiled” the round figure, became the winner. But more on that later.
A run of 20.6 km - half of the marathon or, as runners affectionately call it, "half" - is held by Magnitogorsk residents, but 100 km from the city, near the village of Shigaevo, Beloretsky district.
The director of Krakarace is Kirill Fronyuk, a well-known ultramarathon runner in the city. First, he made a race from Magnitogorsk to Volgograd (1.5 thousand km), and while everyone was thinking how this is even possible, the next year from Volgograd to Berlin (2.5 thousand km).
The participants more than confirmed this accessibility: the oldest of them was 68 years old, and the smallest was nine. For three hours, the distance succumbed to everyone! And at the same time, as we found out, most of those who came are far from athletes. Moreover, they started running only a couple of years ago.
Some uplifting stories
Alexey and Louise from Ufa Came here with the whole family. Only the husband runs - the wife is not yet ready for such competitions. And the man became interested in long distances only two years ago: he was tired of ordinary jogging.
So many marathons Sergey Stepanov, who also came from the Bashkir capital. At 52, he takes half marathon after half marathon, and a year ago he climbed Elbrus. And before that, he smoked for 37 years!
A goal appeared, I reached it: it was Elbrus, and now I run for my own pleasure. Recently I was on Iremel. At home I run along the banks of the Ufimka River, there are also beautiful views. Here for the first time, - shared Sergey.
By the way, the oldest participant is a 68-year-old Chelyabinsk citizen. Vladimir Terentiev- said that everyone can run not only a half-marathon, but a whole marathon if they practice for two years. We later found out exactly how. We'll tell you below.
By the way, where did they come from to Kraka! Magnitogorsk residents made up only a third of all runners. There were residents of Belorechansk, and Ufa, and residents of Chelyabinsk, Zlatoust and Orenburg, as well as Muscovites and St. Petersburg.
But perhaps the most incredible thing was the appearance of participants from Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky at the race! And what else: members of the Russian ski mountaineering team. Recently, the Russian team returned from Sicily with fifth place.
Six thousand kilometers separate the Urals and Kamchatka. Anya and Sveta Malysheva(Yes, they are also sisters!) arranged a real tour for themselves: they flew to Vladivostok, then to Novosibirsk, then flew to Chelyabinsk, and from there we drove first to Magnitogorsk, and then to Bashkiria.
We forgot the camera in Turkey, and Kirill then sent it to us. That's how we met. Then he wrote to us about the race. We knew that sooner or later we would run, and we thought: why not start with this half marathon?
the girls said.
Pupils traditionally participate in the race orphanage from Sermenevo and take almost all the prizes in the junior category. Attracting orphans is already bearing fruit: one of the boys, a participant of last year, became seriously interested in running and became the best at the Ufa marathon.
The relaxed atmosphere on Krak united us: we met two women on the starting field, who were talking animatedly. There was no doubt that they were old friends. But one of them dispelled our assumptions:
A little later, we met her on the route ... in a bear costume. Although in her face he was peaceful, but, as expected, the clubfoot stimulated to run even faster. By the way, it was the second bear on the course.
About the route
Our correspondent also made a new acquaintance, with whom she decided to just climb the mountain, look at the views. Climbed, ii… went further! We declare responsibly: excitement appears at the fifth kilometer, and does not disappear until the 20th, at least.
So let's talk about how everything was arranged there. The weather was truly summery. For runners, it was not so good: in the heat it is harder to play sports. And the fans couldn't be happier. And so are we.
The first step was to evaluate the label. In general, many spoke about it after: the signal tape was met so often that it was possible to get lost only if you walked with your eyes closed. The organizers promised us that this garbage would not remain in the forest - everything was removed immediately after the race.
Our route was filled with various jokes, especially on the first, most difficult section of the path. The height difference of 650 meters, which the organizers talked about, was already felt by the participants at the third kilometer!
We checked it out for ourselves: a sharp climb uphill is not easy. And two funny signs "Forrest Gump nervously smokes" and “Your fizruk is proud of you!” on the sixth kilometer appear just in time.
And then we were met by the first "point of distribution of power." Volunteers treated the participants to water, nuts, fruits and sweets: everything that will help to recover after a difficult start.
Approximately in the middle of the way we met the first bear. At first I came across a sign that said that a bear was wandering somewhere. But we didn't believe it! And then he really looked out of the bushes. True, on the poster.
Let's be honest: we didn't run, we just walked. And there was no goal to come first, we were interested in everything around. About 20 times along the way we just stopped and looked around.
And each time, the view was amazing: from a bird's eye view, one could see fields, woodlands and colorful spots of villages. Directly opposite was the peak of another, much higher mountain. Each frame was a photo masterpiece, so we pressed the smartphone button every minute, and then it turned out that there was not even anything to delete.
The second "point of power distribution" met us on the descent. Water was very helpful: the altitude drops increased the thirst. At the last section, the number of comic signs increased again: at the end of the distance, the participants were promised a massage and buckwheat with meatballs.
All this was true: masseurs and a small kitchen worked at the finish line, where they not only fed buckwheat and water-tea, but also handed out sweet buns.
The end of the route passed through the village. Kirill Fronyuk told us that the locals reacted quite favorably to the half marathon and even shared water, but did not take part in the race themselves: it is far from exotic for them.
Everything about everything took us four hours. We became one of the slowest participants. Almost everyone was already at the finish line three hours after the start. Including the smallest participant - Timofey Ognev from Beloretsk.
Timofey is nine years old and this is his second half marathon. He overcame the first one without difficulty, and this time he walked absolutely calm, especially with his mother's support.
Arrived 20 minutes earlier than last year. In addition to running, he enjoys Greco-Roman wrestling. A young athlete on school crosses leaves no chance for his classmates. What can I say, if we ourselves were left behind!
New record!
It turned out at the awarding ceremony: there are new records in the race. The first concerned the women's category: the fastest woman finished just 1 hour and 43 minutes after the start.
The absolute result was even more surprising. Last year, the first came running with a result of 1 hour 31 minutes. This time even the third one came running in 1 hour 29 minutes!
And this year's winner Maxim Timofeev from Uchaly, covered the distance in 1 hour 23 minutes. And this despite the fact that the track was unfamiliar to him.
This record might not have been: until the last, the runner was not sure that he would come. I bought a starter pack already in the glade and became 301 participants. The organizers made an exception - only 300 people were planned to participate for safety and comfort reasons. And not in vain.
Of course, the winner is not an amateur, but a professional track and field athlete. At first, Maxim was engaged in ordinary marathon running, then he became interested in mountain running. This year he has bronze at the Russian Championship.
By the way, just a week ago, Maxim Timofeev became the winner of and.
In addition, Maxim trains children at a sports school. We also decided to learn and asked them to tell us how to make it so that in two years, on the advice of the most adult runner, we would finally overcome the marathon.
Maxim Timofeev recommended that beginners not immediately rush to long distances and run on slopes. The first should be regular, daily (!) jogging for short distances.
Then the distance should be increased, and only after that gradually introduce ascents and descents. And then, indeed, in a year you can run to the finish line of Kraki with a good result, and in another year you can take a marathon (42 km).