Why you don't want to talk to anyone. "I don't want to communicate with anyone": apathy

Everything is very relative - it depends on what your situation is, how old you are, what you do and what you are interested in.

Personally, for a long time I communicated with few people and mostly via the network (even when I was in the army and then worked, we simply had nothing to talk about), and I can honestly say that there are more minuses than pluses.

As for forming your own opinion, this is not very serious, you will read / watch something on the Internet in the same way as before, so there will hardly be any changes.

What will really happen is just a bunch of free time that will have to be put somewhere, and a lack of communication. The lack of communication will manifest itself in the fact that you will greedily pounce on new acquaintances, and they most likely will not have that enthusiasm, which will lead to problems. Also, you will not have anyone to walk with, go to the cinema, theaters, exhibitions, just go shopping and get shabby.

Free time sounds great, but in fact, it is usually filled with the same things as usual - games, series, movies, aimless scrolling of the VK/Facebook/Twitter feed. In theory, you can be interested in something and then the results will be really outstanding (because the time Very a lot of); But again, these are the exceptions rather than the rule.

Personally, during this "single" time I got into the top pvp consta in one MMORPG (I understand perfectly well that this is still that merged time), went to the army and learned to program - yes, I was lucky to get carried away with this and achieve some success.

But if you want to create such a situation artificially, to achieve some goals, then I will say right away that the idea is very bad (especially if you are under ~20), unless you are an experienced hermit with your own worldview; with a long absence of communication, there is a risk of simply falling out of society, and this is already being treated for a long time and with consequences.

Nothing special, really. People both romanticize and demonize loneliness, often at the same time. :) Both are stupid - do not exaggerate its impact. You will sometimes experience amazing peace and happiness, sometimes - furious boredom, sometimes feel special and independent, and sometimes - useless loser. All the same feelings and experiences you experience regularly, being with other people.

Probably, the answer depends on the range of interests of the respondent. If you're an avid skateboarder, someone with a wide circle of friends, who's used to "going out into the world" every Friday night to Monday night, then you're probably going to have a hard time. polar change of your social behavior It can even lead to major health problems. It's like a sharp transition from fast food to a raw food diet - you can get poisoned.

There are people who, by nature, do not communicate with anyone. Well, they can't. About once a month, I make a promise to myself to answer emails and messages immediately, without delay. Appear on social networks more than once every two months, check the news and so on. And, as a heavy smoker who can't quit, I can't really connect with people.

I come across some interesting project, a new professional goal arises, and I plunge into the process with my head. Fortunately, I can afford to work at any time of the day and in any volume. I often miss important news and sometimes unintentionally offend someone with my inattention, but in general I like this lifestyle.

This is how communication diffuses, wastes your energy and takes a lot of time. Can you boast that each of your interlocutors is truly interesting to you? People spend a significant part of their lives in vain - on politeness and sharing pictures on social networks.

Freelance designers, again programmers and writers are people who have a lot of fun to do on their own - and I guess I'm not the only one. We just can't see.

Eat different variants. Creativity / work - the most positive of them, but unlikely. Most likely, you will start hanging out all the time in social networks and on forums. There you will be drawn into some sect (not necessarily religious) or, if you have the ability, create your own. You will become a misanthrope, despising humanity as a species. This will hinder your creativity and professional development, but you will not care, because stupid people are unable to appreciate you.

I myself have not had a lot of sexual partners, so I would not associate myself with a girl who gives sexual "diversity" too great importance. From my point of view, she will be unreliable, as she will be pulled towards sleeping with someone else, and therefore stability in such a pair is most likely in doubt. Otherwise, if I was a womanizer / womanizer, then my view on this issue could be different.

However, the first question that should be asked by any person who enters into a relationship with a woman who has had many sexual contacts is the question of whether she has any venereal diseases, especially HIV or hepatitis C. You should not only protect yourself, but also require (as well as provide yourself) a certificate of the absence of STDs. Moreover, diseases such as syphilis can be transmitted even if you wear a condom.

Surely each of us had to face problems shoulder to shoulder. psychological nature. Every person has periods when he becomes indifferent to everything, does not strive for anything, does not have the slightest desire to do anything. Psychologists call this state of deep indifference apathy. “I don’t want to communicate with anyone,” this phrase can often be heard from a person suffering from this psychotic disorder. What are the causes of apathy, how to recognize it and what advice do psychologists give to deal with this problem?

How dangerous is apathy and what are the consequences

One of the forms of a protective reaction of the psyche to stressful situations, lack of sleep, emotional experiences, physical or moral exhaustion can become indifference not only to everything around and what is happening, but also to oneself. This depressed state is characterized by a general breakdown, so a long stay in it is dangerous not only for the mental, but also for the physical health of a person. With apathy, the risk of "paralysis" of the personality increases: due to focusing solely on one's own problems, the patient ceases to find positive moments in different situations and see the beauty of the outside world.

A person suffering from apathy has no desire to communicate with people. It is quite difficult to cope with this type of disorder on your own. The patient will need tremendous willpower, determination and determination. With this problem, most patients turn to psychotherapists. In complicated cases, the patient can completely withdraw from society, fall out of real world. Apathy is often accompanied by depression, and in the absence of treatment, the most dangerous scenario for the development of these disorders is often a person's attempts to settle scores with a life that seems worthless and useless to him.

To understand the reasons why there is no desire to communicate, you need to delve into your subconscious and find there a reflection of specific events of a personal or public life which could cause serious damage to the psyche of the patient. The symptoms of this pathology cannot be confused with a bad mood, which is temporary. When looking at a person with apathy, there is always a feeling as if he does not hear and does not notice anything around.

If the patient declares: “I don’t want any communication!”, drastic measures must be taken urgently. Apathy is amenable to medical and psychotherapeutic correction, however, each step in the treatment of this condition must be competent and clearly balanced.

The main causes of spiritual emptiness

Like any other disease, the appearance of this disorder was preceded by certain factors. Indifference itself cannot arise from scratch, without any reason. Most often, apathy, due to which a person does not want to communicate with anyone, is the result of harsh self-criticism and dissatisfaction with oneself, which leads to a refusal to implement important plans.

The actual reasons for the appearance of an indifferent state include stress and emotional upheaval. Progressive apathy is accompanied by laziness, lack of emotions and even neglect appearance and hygiene. Often, people with mental apathetic disorder have a house that is not cleaned and is very dirty.

tragic events

There are times when we experience major upheavals in our lives. The death of loved ones or relatives, the betrayal or separation of a loved one, serious injuries and disabilities - all this affects emotional state. Any incidents that can affect the way of life deprive you of strength and make you give up.

Apathy and a sense of helplessness fetter a person in all spheres of his life. To accept what happened and come to your senses, a lot of time must pass after the grief experienced.

emotional tension

No one will benefit from a series of experiences stressful situations. Almost always, a person becomes indifferent as a result of a protracted psycho-emotional stress which leads to depletion nervous system. At risk are people who endlessly doubt themselves, are in depressing feelings, excitement. Without noticing it, the patient sinks into a depressed state. If he says: “I don’t want to communicate with people!”, Most likely, his apathy has reached a critical point.

The turning point in the course of this mental illness is the stage during which the destruction of the personality occurs. Experiencing negative emotions for a long time, a person subconsciously gets used to them. The result is complete dissatisfaction with life and hopelessness. Once a self-confident person now no longer believes in himself and fixates only on problems.

Physical and moral exhaustion

Excessive workloads and lack of pleasure from work often lead to loss vitality and deep fatigue. Working for wear and tear, each person unconsciously wants to receive in return something that will bring him moral satisfaction. If a business in which a lot of energy and labor had to be invested does not live up to expectations, moral exhaustion follows the physical.

"I don't want to hang out with friends, go to work and think about the future" is a typical behavior pattern for patients with apathy. The duration of treatment depends on the person himself. The therapy will be long and exhausting unless he can find the right stimulus.

Fatigue - main enemy good mood, positive thoughts and self-confidence. If it becomes chronic, burnout is inevitable. Apathy does not occur where there is no good reason for it, so it is extremely important for people prone to psychotic disorders to avoid stressful situations, not allow themselves to get involved in conflicts and emotionally experience.

When self-criticism is not in favor

Usually, close relatives and family members guess that a person needs the help of specialists. More and more often they hear from him that, they say, I’m tired of everything, there is no point in anything, I don’t even want to communicate with friends and acquaintances. What to do in this situation?

An apathetic disorder may well have led to fantastic expectations. For example, a person has just started doing what he loves, but at the same time he immediately wanted to get high incomes. Thus, he makes too stringent demands on himself and even deprives himself of the right to make a mistake.

But we know that success can only be achieved through hard efforts, trial and error. Everyone can make a mistake by making the wrong decision, but only for a psychologically stable person, the wrong steps are a reason to try again or try something else. People who are prone to apathy perceive their own failures as a real drama. Perfectionists often suffer from this disorder. They are too self-critical about personal achievements, consider them small and insignificant. This is what prevents a person from feeling completely happy and achieving their goals.

Psychological addiction

This is one of the reasons why a person refuses to fight the problem and generally make contact with anyone. The phrase “I don’t want to communicate with people” in psychology can be perceived as a consequence of addictive behavior. Addiction is an obsessive need to perform certain actions. The term is often used for more than just drug, drug, alcohol, or gambling addiction.

Speaking of addiction, psychologists mean a state in which a person loses his individuality, ceases to control himself, and does not feel respect for himself and others.

It is possible to understand that addiction provoked apathy by the behavior of the patient and his attitude towards others. All thoughts and desires dependent person aimed only at satisfying their needs (taking drugs, smoking a cigarette, seeing the object of their desire, etc.). A person with an addictive disorder is not able to manage his own life and be responsible for what is happening.

Health problems as a cause of apathy

It is possible that the cause of the sudden isolation and decadent mood is a serious illness. It is not surprising that a person who feels bad says, they say, I do not want to communicate with people. What to do? In most cases, patients who undergo complex treatment are prescribed antidepressants. With a protracted illness that makes its own adjustments to the usual way of life, a person becomes emotionally depressed. The disease can deprive you of the strength to enjoy even pleasant little things.

All the energy and resources of the body are spent solely on fighting the disease, therefore, to overcome the feeling of helplessness and raise the spirit, the patient is prescribed antidepressants. These drugs help relieve fatigue, help maintain interest in life and doing what you love.

Public lack of demand

Another reason why a person may say: “I don’t want to communicate with anyone!” May be tense relationships in a circle of friends, team, family. Not wanting to contact, on a subconscious level, he defends himself from the rejection of himself by the environment. In psychology, this phenomenon is called "personal dissatisfaction syndrome." He takes his roots, as a rule, from unsuccessfully developing relationships with management, colleagues, relatives, etc.

If a person often hears critical statements addressed to him and is forced to be in a state of constant confrontation, sooner or later he ceases to believe in his own rightness, and self-doubt is the first step towards apathy.

Features of female apathy

Not always we are talking about a psychotic disorder, if a person has no desire to communicate with people. In psychiatry, almost nothing is said about PMS, but many women know firsthand about apathy during this period. State spiritual emptiness and indifference is not uncommon for the fair sex on the eve of the menstrual cycle. Women become vulnerable, whiny, sentimental, touchy.

How apathy manifests itself: symptoms

“I don’t want to communicate with people” - these depressing and frightening thoughts are familiar to everyone who has had a chance to face apathy. It manifests itself in a very specific way. People who have experienced the hardships of all manifestations of this psychotic disorder know how difficult it is to cope with this problem and learn to find the positive in life again.

A person in a state of apathy has no desire to communicate with people. He practically does not notice what is happening around him, stops even thinking about his usual needs: he forgets to have dinner on time, take a walk in the fresh air, take a shower, refuses to meet with friends, etc. People around him get the impression that the patient has forgotten how to experience feelings joy and show emotions, it seems that the person has wandered into a dead end and now does not know what to do next, in which direction to head.

People who suffer from apathy are emotionally indifferent. Most time they have a bad mood, it is impossible to cheer them up, charge them with positive emotions, give optimism and inspire faith in a brighter future. If a person does not want to communicate with people, the diagnosis of "apathy" is not made at the first appointment with a specialist. The patient is followed up to determine other symptoms characteristic of this psychotic disorder.

Indifference to everything around is an absolute sign of apathy. If a person does not cope with his problem for a certain time, a psychotic disorder will begin to affect his general health. Along with inspiration and vitality, people, for example, lose their appetite. Against the background of emotional depression, the sensitivity of taste and olfactory receptors is inhibited, so even your favorite dishes cease to please. Sometimes patients refuse to eat at all.

In any manifestations, apathy makes you avoid contact with people. “I don’t want to communicate, it’s better for me to be alone,” patients say about this almost in one voice. It is much easier and more comfortable for the patient to be alone than to spend time with loved ones. Psychologists explain the lack of sociable mood by the fact that people lose moral strength and self-confidence with this diagnosis. A person does not want to communicate with people, because there is simply no energy left for communication. He deliberately minimizes any conversations. Persons in an apathetic state are not able to show initiative and activity in contact with other people.

Emotional depression affects not only mood, but also negatively affects the degree of performance. Labor productivity drops so much that a person ceases to be sure that he will be able to perform even those tasks that he previously coped with without difficulty. Instead of cheerfulness and interest, the patient feels lethargy and drowsiness. He tends to sleep even before important meetings, and notes of indifference and indifference to what is happening are clearly audible in his voice.

Why don't you want to communicate with anyone, and your favorite activities now do not bring pleasure? All patients suffering from apathy come to psychologists with this question. Also, often people are interested in whether the disorder needs to be treated. Here the answer is obvious: with apathy, each patient needs the help of specialists and the support of a close environment, but to a greater extent, the effectiveness of therapy will depend on whether the person himself realizes that his life is wasted, and he needs urgent treatment.

Which doctor to contact

This state cannot be left to chance. To defeat apathy, you need to step over shame and shyness and turn to a specialist. You can consult with a psychologist, psychiatrist or psychotherapist.

A psychologist has knowledge in this area and can give basic advice, but this specialist is not competent enough to make a diagnosis and prescribe medication. If the psychologist sees a problem, he refers the patient to a psychiatrist or psychotherapist. It is important to put aside all prejudices and stereotypes, because these specialists are visited not only by the mentally ill, but also by mentally healthy people. In addition, a psychiatrist can treat insomnia, various phobias, epilepsy and other diseases.

If we analyze the most popular advice from psychologists and psychiatrists about the treatment of apathy, we can draw certain conclusions. According to most experts, at the first symptoms of this disorder, it is necessary:

• Deal with laziness. By any means you need to force yourself to move. The easiest way is to go to the gym. During training, the patient will involuntarily plunge into a state of languor and relaxation, which will distract from problems and gloomy thoughts.
• Don't stop talking. “I don’t want to meet and talk with anyone” - perhaps this is how a person suffering from apathy will answer. Most likely, he himself does not know what he refuses: evening gatherings with an old friend and a bottle of light wine are not such a bad cure for apathy and blues. Of course, if they are not abused.
• Get enough rest, get enough sleep. Apathy often occurs in people who are constantly in an intense rhythm of life. You need to sleep at least 7-8 hours a day.
• Eat properly. The psychological well-being of each of us largely depends on what we eat. The body must receive all the necessary vitamins and minerals. It is better to refuse semi-finished products and fast food forever.
• Listen to classical music. Scientists have repeatedly proven that the works of great authors are able to charge with positive energy and give high spirits, which is so lacking in apathy.
• Do yoga. If a person has lost the desire to communicate with people and engage in any activity, you can bring him back to life with the help of mantra yoga. The essence of the method lies in the singing of the sacred text, during which a special vibrational background is created that positively affects psycho-emotional state.
• Get out of the daze. To end apathy, it is necessary to cause a surge of emotions. There is no universal recipe here: one person needs extreme sports, up to skydiving, while another may need to watch their favorite comedy movie or energetic dances.
• Refuse to regularly read or watch the news. Often, the media present information that causes irritation, fear, disappointment, envy, anger and other depressing emotions. Tragic news, shocking talk shows, TV shows about diseases can leave a negative imprint on the subconscious.
• Learn to manage your apathy. It is better to overpower yourself and start reading literature about psychological problems oh, than to mope and toil from idleness.

If the patient has no desire to communicate with anyone, this does not mean that he is not prone to emotional empathy. Each of us, to a greater or lesser extent, can support another person. Therefore, those who suffer from apathy need to communicate more with energetic and cheerful people.

Apathy and exercise

Lack of desire to communicate and indifference to one's own life - clear signs psychotic disorder. But like any other disease, it is much easier to deal with it at the first symptoms. A patient who follows the above recommendations has no chance of losing the fight, but, one way or another, it will take serious volitional efforts. The main thing is not to get hung up on a depressed state. It is most correct to perceive apathy as a short-term phenomenon, a kind of time-out for rest and respite from the busy rhythm of life.

Many psychotherapists are sure that a person who has lost the desire to communicate with people has problems with physical health, poor health. The term " mental health”, which means peace of mind and well-being. “In a healthy body - a healthy mind” - this saying is familiar to all of us since childhood, so the best prevention of any psychological problems is to maintain optimal physical shape.

Charging in the morning or a light workout in the gym is one of the recipes for improving the state of the nervous system. A couple of months of regular classes are enough to see how the mood stabilizes, the desire to live again, to do what you love, appears again. It doesn't matter what kind of sport the patient likes more - cycling or walking, swimming or kettlebell lifting - the main thing is to get much-needed emotions and again feel interest in satisfying one's own desires.

Hobbies as a way out of apathy

Asking yourself: “Why don’t I want to communicate with people?”, First of all, you need to pay attention to your sense of self and try to figure out what generally brings joy, a feeling of deep moral satisfaction. By doing what gives real pleasure, a person flourishes, expands his potentialities and ways for self-realization.

Each of us has certain abilities, has a penchant for a particular type of activity, and a favorite hobby always inspires, energizes and gives optimism. Therefore, a hobby can be considered a full-fledged way to deal with apathy.

How to know when it's time to see a doctor

If a person does not want to communicate with anyone, has become withdrawn and detached, how can you help him? Without qualified help, curing apathy can be difficult, but very often this phenomenon is not taken seriously enough. Therefore, it is important to understand that such manifestations are not inherent in a perfectly healthy person (in mental terms), unless, of course, he decided to take a break and refuse to communicate in order to think over many things in his life.

With apathy, the patient has a significant decrease in the potential of resources and opportunities, and the motivation for productive work decreases. If a person has ceased to monitor his appearance, you should pay attention to whether there are signs of a depressive disorder in his behavior. This disease is really dangerous, as it can lead to a tragic end.

You can understand that you cannot do without the intervention of professionals, according to two fundamental points:

• duration. If the blues lasts for several days, and then goes away on its own, nothing needs to be done about this manifestation. Otherwise, when a person refuses to communicate with others for more than two weeks in a row, this is a significant cause for concern.
• The severity of symptoms of apathy. If the disorder manifests itself in such a way that it does not affect the usual way and style of life, most likely there is no urgent need to see a doctor. It is unlikely that it will be possible to cure apathy on its own if the symptoms of the disorder are pronounced.

How to understand that it is time to act together with professionals? Obvious symptoms are when the patient is unable to wake up and get ready for work in the morning, has practically stopped eating and drinking, washing clothes, taking care of himself, etc. If all these signs are present, there is no need to wait for anything, it is advisable to contact as soon as possible doctor. Information about psychotherapists and psychiatrists can usually be found on websites in your city. All you need to do is call and make an appointment at a convenient time. The doctor will listen to all complaints and prescribe suitable drugs that will help restore the lost vitality and joy of life.

Some psychotherapists are skilled in hypnosis - this is one of the expensive, but powerful and effective ways in the fight against psychotic disorders different types. For high-quality provision of such services, you should contact only highly qualified specialists. The effect usually occurs after several sessions. The patient again begins to experience a surge of strength and vitality, is freed from fears, experiences and obsessive thoughts.

What to do if apathy is intermittent, but manifests itself periodically? This violation can pretty much poison life for a long time. What to do in these cases? Many of the tips listed earlier help to cope with apathy. To use them, you do not need any special skills and conditions. However, they will become effective only if the person using them is aware of the need for treatment and combating an apathetic state.

Why does apathy arise and why communicate with others? If you figure it out, it will be much easier to deal with the problem. Just like that, nothing ever happens to the body: everything has its own physiological or psychosomatic reasons.

per century social man who does not communicate with his own kind also causes unconscious anxiety. Sometimes the person himself understands: “I don’t want to communicate with people” and the next question in his head is: “What is wrong with me?”. Calmly. The action plan is:

Do not panic.
Wait a couple of days or a week, maybe it will go away on its own.

Dislike for others does not arise from scratch. Every person has bouts of misanthropy when he realizes: “I don’t want to communicate with people.” In the conditions of the information age, this is a normal state. Nowadays, there is too much of everything: data, people, conversations, events. , exhales.

Misanthrope and introvert

Misanthropy is a mindset that has at its core a dislike of man as a species. She happens:

Natural. When others talk about a person: "He prefers solitude (loneliness) to noisy companies since as long as we remember him." In this case, we are talking about "innate" misanthropy. Here it is difficult to establish the environment or internal qualities influenced the character, but the person is already in early age disappointed in people, perhaps knowing what secret.
Situational. Misanthropy was discussed above.
Acquired. Human activity does not affect him in the most favorable way, and he turns into a recluse (actors, writers, psychologists).

Misanthropes and introverts are confused. An introvert, unlike a misanthrope, does not experience any negative feelings for a person as a species, on the contrary: before abstract person, an introvert can bow down to a person as an idea, but people made of flesh and blood oppress and tire him.

A misanthrope is a person who does not accept his own kind, and his hatred is rooted in ideological soil. And not necessarily hostility to people is a manifestation of mental illness.

Introvert and extrovert

There are 3 misconceptions about introversion and extroversion:

An introvert is a misanthrope who does not like people and will prefer loneliness to any society.
An extrovert is a shirt-guy whom you don’t feed with bread, just let him talk to people. He prefers any company to loneliness.
These characteristics are innate, and nothing can be done with them during life.

The author of the concept of extraversion and introversion, Carl Jung, understands an introvert as a person whose mental energy is directed inward. Such a subject reflects and contemplates, and in this he finds the meaning of life. An introvert does not spray and does not waste his strength in vain. He is focused and self-sufficient.

An extrovert is a person who prefers to direct forces towards the world. He enjoys external activities, he energetically feeds on the response and reaction of other people and cannot endure loneliness for a long time, but:

When an introvert gets into the right company of like-minded people, he turns into a sociable extrovert.
The extrovert is harmed by the constant inclusion in the flow of events. He, too, gets tired of the carnival and moves away to lie low for a day or two, a week, a month and not rise up.

- these are, rather, different directions of mental energy, which depend on the tone of the human nervous system and his needs at a particular moment in life.

"I don't want to talk!" What to do?

First of all, a person asks himself three questions:

When did it start?
Is it associated with a specific event or person?
Is it a lot of trouble not wanting to communicate?

If misanthropy (or a period of introversion) began after a certain event or, then it is worth waiting and analyzing why the break happened.

Situation one. Conflict with a person. If a person is valuable enough, then silence is a normal reaction. Time will pass, and everything will work out, but the contradiction that has arisen between people needs to be resolved. Without it, sociability will not be restored.
Situation two. Events forced to lay low. forces a person to rethink his life, and think better in silence. If serious ones arise, then it is better to discuss them with relatives and friends (even the most uncommunicative subjects have those whom they trust).
Silence is a reaction to "information overdose". Turning off the power will help relieve the accumulated stress. social networks and other channels. The body must recover. In this case, the silence is temporary and serves as a cure for overwork. If a person had a breakdown for the first time, the ideal way out is to relax in nature for a couple of weeks, fatigue and unwillingness to communicate as if by hand will take off.

Aristotle and other sages teach: "Man is a social animal." And Napoleon, in a different, true, context, said: "A person cannot eat one chicken all the time." The same is true with communication. The society aggressively imposes the ideal of a “sociable person”. And when someone thinks: “I don’t want to communicate, what should I do?”. No need to be nervous. Sometimes being silent isn't so bad.

I don't even know where to start... I don't want anything for several years now - I don't want to communicate with anyone, I don't want to go anywhere. Even the need to go to the store annoys me - I put it off until the last. I have one reaction to almost any problem, or not a problem, but rather to any event - I ask myself the inner question "why do I need it?". And I come to the conclusion that I do not need it. And in globalism it turns out that I need absolutely nothing. I don't like living life to the fullest - it's stressful, but it's not suicidal thoughts at all - by no means. I just really like to exist.

At first glance, it may seem that if I don’t want anything and no one, then I have depression and apathy. But it's not. It suits me, or even would say pleases this state - I feel comfortable in it. The problem is that with such a position, I do not find understanding among people - primarily among my family. Well, so do the relatives. Other people (in the broad sense - acquaintances, friends) are indifferent to me, I stopped making friends and communicating with anyone for a very long time. That is, I don’t care what they think or don’t think about me and what anyone will say. I have a husband and adult children who do not understand my position and all the time they try to "stir up" me - they call me somewhere, they want something from me, they share something, well, the brain is periodically loosened on the topic "you can't live like this ". And it annoys me even more - it seems to me that their life is seething (compared to mine) and they are dragging me there too. And I absolutely do not want any turbulent currents and some kind of fuss - I consider it empty and unnecessary. My husband calls my lifestyle amoebic and pensioner, but it is pleasant for me and it is stressful and unpleasant for me when they try to pull me out of my "swamp" for some reason. When I am in this state, I have good mood, I enjoy life. But when they start pulling me out of there, I become dull, inactive and come into a bad mood.

Plus, I have a low level of empathy. I am not touched or upset by other people's problems. The people around me (mostly relatives) yell that I am callous, insensitive and indifferent to my own ... but this does not bother me either. For the most part, I stop communicating with them - I don’t pick up the phone, I don’t communicate, I try not to intersect. Yes, I am so - selfish, not sympathetic and so on. I feel neither responsibility for what happens to/with others, nor desire to help or sympathize with anyone. I do not have a "sense of clan" - I do not feel any special love for relatives. I don't care what and how they live, I'm not interested in how they are doing, I have nothing to discuss with them. I don't care - who went where, who was ill with what and who got married or was born.

Actually, the only problem is how to get along with others so that they stop annoying me and try to remake me from Oblomov into a person with a "right life"?

There are a lot of descriptions of this state - both everyday and scientific: “Everyone around is disgusted”, “I don’t want to see anyone”, “Poisoning by people”, “Physically I can’t communicate with anyone”. Does this happen to you? When you go out into the street, and there is horror: there are a hundred times more passers-by than in China! You appear in the office - and colleagues, as if by agreement, pull you, impose communication, endlessly demand attention. If you want to take a break from tedious conversations, then no: the enraged telephone receiver clogs and clogs your head with annoying voices ... I would rather run away from this crowded people. Crawl into a hole. And “to feel orphanhood as bliss” - thanks to Akhmadulina for the poetic interpretation medical term"burnout syndrome".

Signs of emotional burnout:
. I don't want to see, hear, talk to anyone.
. Perpetual fatigue.
. "Blurred" head, migraine, nausea.
. Insomnia on the background of excitement: the state of "so tired that there is no strength to fall asleep." Unwillingness to wake up in the morning.
. Emotional emptiness (feeling of a "squeezed lemon").
. Symptoms of asthenia: palpitations, dilated pupils,
pallor of the skin.
. Irritability, impatience.
. Loss of ability to make decisions.
. Feeling disappointed in the chosen activity.
. Exacerbation of chronic diseases.

Emotional cannibalism
The scientific term "burnout" ("emotional burnout") in 1974 was coined and introduced into circulation by the American psychologist Fredeberg. As a matter of fact, the psychologist did not invent anything, just his patients, when describing their condition, used the phrase “I am burned out, the soul is ashes” so often that Fredeberg only had to give the metaphor the status of a diagnosis. And the syndrome of emotional burnout "went to the people." Initially, this diagnosis was made to everyone who had characteristics"exhaustion from communication." Patients very colorfully described their experiences - "The people around me eat me piece by piece, drink my energy, devour my emotions" - and complained of fatigue, a feeling of powerlessness, exhaustion, frequent headaches, and insomnia. The disorder was loudly dubbed “emotional cannibalism” in pseudo-scientific publications and declared an inevitable psychological evil of our time: after all, communication, the main culprit of all troubles, is present in literally everything we do, whether it is relationships with relatives or professional activities.
Time passed, and the specialists, distributing a resounding diagnosis to the right and left, became thoughtful. Something didn’t work out: At work, you need to sweat, but not burn
the record “burnout” flashed in the medical records of malicious misanthropes, and young ladies tired of parental nitpicking, and men entangled in love relationships, and mothers tormented by capricious children, and even psychopaths, from time to time feeling the desire to “pick up a machine gun and all of them! » The listed patients undoubtedly had problems, but they were associated with different reasons and concerned communication with specific people, and not communication as such in general. Psychologists and psychiatrists looked at diagnosed with emotional burnout more carefully.
It turned out that many complaining of “communication intoxication” have one thing in common: their professional success directly depended on the quality and quantity of communication with other people. And the diagnosis of "burnout syndrome", leaving the medical records of housewives, drivers, jewelers, etc., migrated to the category of disorders called in psychology professional deformation . Namely, it has become an unfortunate prerogative of those who, on duty, are forced to closely communicate with people. IN were at risk(according to the degree of reduction in the likelihood of emotional burnout): psychotherapists, teachers, journalists, leaders of all ranks, including managers, as well as nurses, governesses, doctors, nurses and others. Victims of emotional cannibalism have come to be referred to by specialists as “burnt out” or “burnt out,” depending on the severity of the disorder.

Disgust and hatred
A few years ago American national institute Problems of Health and Occupational Safety published data from which it follows that worldwide, out of 40 million people suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome, two-thirds are most likely not affected by chronic fatigue itself, but by the clinical form of "burnout". And the main reason for their malaise not so much professional overload, rush jobs, stress, irregular working hours, fear of losing a job and fear of being incompetent (all of the above is a trigger for chronic fatigue), but glut of contact with other people- what is called, to the very eyeballs. The situation is a dead end: after all, it is in communication that the essence of professional activity those who, due to emotional burnout, are no longer able not only to speak, but even to see their clients or partners. Trapped in the trap of “I can’t communicate, but I can’t not communicate,” a person experiences severe stress. Overwork is interspersed with irritation - up to bouts of so-called office rage, when people throw out unmotivated aggression on colleagues or clients. According to British sociologists, every second employee at least once fell into an uncontrollable rage at his workplace. However, unmotivated aggression is already the last degree of emotional burnout. Luckily, "burnout" sneaks up on a person insidiously. Which means we have time to understand what's going on and not let ourselves burn to the ground.

The first stage of chronic fatigue syndrome is "emotional deficit". Work that until recently brought pleasure is disgusting. The doctor understands that he no longer wants to help his patients, the teacher - that he is sick of the mere thought of the upcoming lecture, the journalist's cheekbones are reduced from the need to arrange an interview. “Burning” make an unpleasant discovery: familiar situations in which they easily, and most importantly, effectively interacted with people, for some reason became difficult. More and more often, burnout victims make mistakes while performing the simplest professional duties. Resentment, irritability grows: “Why should I endure them all? I'm not made of iron!

In the second stage of "emotional detachment" a person turns on psychological protection, putting a barrier between himself and those with whom he must work. “If you can’t get away from me, I will stop paying attention to you,” this is how you can characterize the mood of the "burning". Emotions become scarce, nothing - neither positive nor negative circumstances - causes a spiritual response. A person turns into a soulless robot, and this, of course, does not go unnoticed by partners or clients. They are perplexed, offended, sometimes even cut off contacts. At this stage, the quality of the work of the “burning” one begins to decrease significantly.

Many would get rid of burnout in the early stages if
would not admit their condition to management. Multiple timeouts in the form
vacations or business trips help restore emotional resources.